Open Letter to the Deeper Recesses of My Brain.

[hummingwolf]

I thought we were getting along well for a while there. Sure, there was that whole insomnia thing (and I apologize for my part in that, though you must admit we've been picking out some interesting library books lately); but that aside, our relationship seemed to be going fairly smoothly. There you were, doing your inscrutable stuff beneath the surface, while I was out here walking around and looking at the pretty clouds and trying to figure out what to do about Social Security and the like, not worrying about the deeper things which are your province. The superficial level was superficial, the deeper levels were deep, and the layers weren't mixing up horribly as they so often have in the past. Sure, I wondered sometimes what you were thinking while I was watching the football camp out on the field, but I figured you'd let me know if there was anything important to worry about.

See, I thought you were busy working on our life problems, that that's why you've been so quiet. So I felt it was best to let you do your work undisturbed, you know? I'd gather information that might be helpful to us and I'd absorb it so it'd be accessible to us both, and then you could do your thing and I could do mine and maybe we'd find a way to function together. But now you're sending me messages again and, frankly, I'm deeply disappointed in you. All you're doing is telling me the same things you've been saying all year! Come on, did you really think I didn't know what you think of this life we're leading? How useless, pathetic, and wasted it is? Puh-leeze. You've made your views abundantly clear, so don't you think it's time to move on? Maybe do something useful for a change? No, I don't mean that I don't deserve to live if I'm not busy doing something society considers "useful"; I mean that you, down there with access to all our deepest unconscious wisdom, should be helping us to find a way to live. This constant griping isn't getting either of us anywhere at all.

Listen, I'm sitting here eating a tasty, nutritious breakfast full of protein and vitamins and gods know what else, which should be adequate fuel for body and mind to do what they need to do. I'm going to pay what bills we have money for, make some phone calls (maybe get hold of a human being or two if we're lucky), read a bit and generally do my job on the outside. It's time for you to do your job too. If you're so unsatisfied with the life we're living, come up with a good way out that we can implement together.

And stop your miserable whining already. You're really annoying me.



Sincerely, Me.

Comments

[wiltinwickwitch.livejournal.com]

Good message, very good.
I think your subconscious is not the one telling you you're useless, pathetic, etc, though. Those messages usually come from another part, a lot more conscious and a lot less helpful, which blocks out anything your subconscious has to tell you.
Your last sentence and the paragraph before actually sound more like the voice of your subconscious breaking through.
It is time to move on.
Sometimes life problems aren't the ones we think they are.
And the interesting titles from the library can contain a whole wealth of suggestions as to new directions.
love and blessed be
xxxx

[daisydumont.livejournal.com]

i think zena's already said a lot of important stuff. i'll just tack on my own goodwill and good wishes and a big ol' hug. (((cb)))

[bluegreen17]

i could have written the same letter to God today. except for a couple things,which is what i'm saying and i'm doing the whining. i feel like God has greatly disappointed me and has very little power to help me and i feel powerless alone. i ask for help...God helps all those folks in a.a....right? actually,it's probably the folks in a.a. who help each other and i dont' have such a support group. i'm feeling cynical. you seem to have a much better attitude. i admire that. i think you're on the right track.

[unwilly.livejournal.com]

You tell it HW.

Un

[sophy.livejournal.com]

*applauds*

You tell ... ummm ... yourself... ?

[skygypsy.livejournal.com]

good for you! don't let it suck you under! ride the wave!

*HUGS*

[wig.livejournal.com]

A lot of yoga is about getting the brain to PIPE DOWN SO I CAN THINK, darnit.

Zoop Says

[(Anonymous)]

Come on, did you really think I didn't know what you think of this life we're leading? How useless, pathetic, and wasted it is? Puh-leeze.

The life of anyone who has the ability to be a good friend to others can not, in any way, be considered useless, pathetic or wasted.

[magnifelyn.livejournal.com]

What makes any person valuable? Please look at others and think about that question. Is a homeless panhandler less valuable than a corporate executive? What about the nasty neighbor? Is a nicer person more valuable than them?

What is a "useless" person? Do we have to have jobs to be useful? Do we have to serve others in some way? What about those of us who live alone, and live only for comfort or self gratification? What about the people who suffer in solitude, the elderly and handicapped who have no family ties or friends? Are those people useless?

Please look around at all the people you meet, and think about their value, their usefulness in this world. Think about the worth of a human life-- any life.

Then look back at yourself, and know that you are equal to all others in creation. You are equal to everyone else. Simply give yourself the chance to Know that, deep in your soul.

[madralaoi.livejournal.com]

*huggles and snuggles* As you know, I know exactly how you feel because I've been through it.
Too bad, because I really didn't learn what to say to other people when they feel this way, I only know that sometimes there is nothing to say that will make it better.
Like you wrote in that closed entry - sometimes we just feel like we've had it with life and everything.
I feel completely useless sometimes and there is nothing my friends can do about it. It's selfish but it's also true. If I'm in that mood, I don't care if my friends will feel pain when I'm dead.

But...I feel better now and my solution to my problem partly, is getting a dog - my new family. *smiles*
SOmeone to snuggle with and someone who I can take care of for the rest of my life.

*hugs*

[fionawolf.livejournal.com]

Hello.
I've found your journal through the randomity that is the internet. And I've just started reading, so obviously I don't know you very well. But I've got to say. You do have a place in the world. Everyone who's commented here thinks so. And even if you're "easily replaceable" in anyone's life, you have a special brand of humor. If nothing else, you are there for the sole purpose of being you. Hell with what Society says. I myself suspect that Society is just a bunch of freaky white-bearded men in a smoke filled room. And that's all I have to say right now. But I'm going to be reading some more. You haven't heard the last of me!