Open Letter to the Deeper Recesses of My Brain.

[hummingwolf]

I thought we were getting along well for a while there. Sure, there was that whole insomnia thing (and I apologize for my part in that, though you must admit we've been picking out some interesting library books lately); but that aside, our relationship seemed to be going fairly smoothly. There you were, doing your inscrutable stuff beneath the surface, while I was out here walking around and looking at the pretty clouds and trying to figure out what to do about Social Security and the like, not worrying about the deeper things which are your province. The superficial level was superficial, the deeper levels were deep, and the layers weren't mixing up horribly as they so often have in the past. Sure, I wondered sometimes what you were thinking while I was watching the football camp out on the field, but I figured you'd let me know if there was anything important to worry about.

See, I thought you were busy working on our life problems, that that's why you've been so quiet. So I felt it was best to let you do your work undisturbed, you know? I'd gather information that might be helpful to us and I'd absorb it so it'd be accessible to us both, and then you could do your thing and I could do mine and maybe we'd find a way to function together. But now you're sending me messages again and, frankly, I'm deeply disappointed in you. All you're doing is telling me the same things you've been saying all year! Come on, did you really think I didn't know what you think of this life we're leading? How useless, pathetic, and wasted it is? Puh-leeze. You've made your views abundantly clear, so don't you think it's time to move on? Maybe do something useful for a change? No, I don't mean that I don't deserve to live if I'm not busy doing something society considers "useful"; I mean that you, down there with access to all our deepest unconscious wisdom, should be helping us to find a way to live. This constant griping isn't getting either of us anywhere at all.

Listen, I'm sitting here eating a tasty, nutritious breakfast full of protein and vitamins and gods know what else, which should be adequate fuel for body and mind to do what they need to do. I'm going to pay what bills we have money for, make some phone calls (maybe get hold of a human being or two if we're lucky), read a bit and generally do my job on the outside. It's time for you to do your job too. If you're so unsatisfied with the life we're living, come up with a good way out that we can implement together.

And stop your miserable whining already. You're really annoying me.



Sincerely, Me.

Comments

[madralaoi.livejournal.com]

*huggles and snuggles* As you know, I know exactly how you feel because I've been through it.
Too bad, because I really didn't learn what to say to other people when they feel this way, I only know that sometimes there is nothing to say that will make it better.
Like you wrote in that closed entry - sometimes we just feel like we've had it with life and everything.
I feel completely useless sometimes and there is nothing my friends can do about it. It's selfish but it's also true. If I'm in that mood, I don't care if my friends will feel pain when I'm dead.

But...I feel better now and my solution to my problem partly, is getting a dog - my new family. *smiles*
SOmeone to snuggle with and someone who I can take care of for the rest of my life.

*hugs*

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the snuggles!