Monday, May 19th, 2003

(no subject)

Monday, May 19th, 2003 09:52 am
hummingwolf: squiggly symbol floating over rippling water (Default)
I'm jealous of you all, every single one of you. Yes, I'm even jealous of you in your struggles, difficult as they are for some of you now, because they sound like the struggles of living people rather than this half-life I'm going through. Of course this last bit is insane--I know I couldn't take the sort of thing certain of my friends are going through. But I didn't claim to be sane this morning, did I?

(no subject)

Monday, May 19th, 2003 10:10 am
hummingwolf: Drawing of a creature that is part-wolf, part-hummingbird. (Hummingwolf by Dandelion)
Preparation has a lot to do with how well one handles things. Did you do your homework? Then, ideally, you will be prepared to do well on this test. Unless you find out you picked up the wrong text at the college bookstore, you're in the wrong class and have done preparatory work that would have helped someone else but is completely and utterly useless to you.

My early life trained me well to live by directing vast amounts of energy toward intellectual pursuits, avoiding people much of the time because I'd figured out early on that most people would hurt and betray me given half a chance. Then I ended up with an illness that drains my energy, leaves me unable to concentrate on the things I trained myself to do for so long--but somehow I ended with more and more wonderful friends than I would have thought possible when I was younger. I don't have a clue how to make a life out of this. Somebody with a completely different background would have no problem with it, I'm sure.



On an unrelated note, whatever happened to Toni Childs? And why is an album called House of Hope one of the most depressing albums in my collection?

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