(no subject)

[hummingwolf]

Oh, this is worse than useless. I can't convince myself to do anything today, which means that not only am I self-annoyed (a normal enough occurrence), I am actively endangering my chances of survival. Or passively endangering my chances of survival, if you want to get technical about it.

Alternating between apathy and sheer, blind terror. Neither state is conducive to much of anything. This sucks. I have deadlines. It looks like they will not be met. What happens after that? Can I make myself care by then?

Comments

Re: terminal procrastination

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

While I do appear to be developing all the symptoms of major depression for the first time in my life, chemical imbalance probably isn't the problem. The fact that my life SUCKS and I don't know what to do about it is kinda the problem.

Ahem. Sorry. Life's been trying to teach me learned helplessness lately. I'm a slow learner, but sometimes things sink in.

All I can think of to do to help me figure out who can sign these forms is call some local phone numbers a friend gave me of other people with fibromyalgia. They've survived, so maybe they can help me figure out how to survive. But too big a part of me is just plain tired of having to work so hard for so little--like I said, for three years (or so) my big goal was getting a job, and now finding out that I can't and that all my work was (apparently) for nothing has hit me rather hard.

I don't want to do nothing. I also don't want to do anything. I'm just plain worn out.

Re: terminal procrastination

[icdedpeople.livejournal.com]

My dad's been going through similar shit with a different illness. :( ...He's turned to internet business ventures lately, since the state has been snailmail slow at finding anything for him and the debilitation was a big rejection factor in the interviews he did get. :( I honestly don't know if the ventures will pan out. *sigh*

*hug* http://www.fibrohugs.com/