On the plus side...

[hummingwolf]

I'm still amused by the Bible "translation" which refers to the apostle Rocky and John the Dipper. It's easy enough to find an article or two decrying the evil evil choices made in the interpretation, but there's simply not been sufficient attention paid to the sheer entertainment value of it.

Though I know Peter's nickname could easily be interpreted as "Rocky," I still think he's more of a Bullwinkle type (yet unwilly made a good point when he said that Bullwinkle would be a good name for Mooses Moses).

"I can't wait to read about Moses receiving the the floppy discs or CDs with the ten commandments on them. Five on each disk. How about the destruction of the cell phone transmission tower at Babel?"

Mark 1:10-11

Authorized version: "And straightway coming up out of the water, he saw the heavens opened, and the Spirit like a dove descending upon him. And there came a voice from the heaven saying, Thou art my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased."

New: "As he was climbing up the bank again, the sun shone through a gap in the clouds. At the same time a pigeon flew down and perched on him. Jesus took this as a sign that God's spirit was with him. A voice from overhead was heard saying, 'That's my boy! You're doing fine!'"

Matthew 23:25

Authorized version: "Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!"

New version: "Take a running jump, Holy Joes, humbugs!"

Matthew 26:69-70

Authorized version: "Now Peter sat without in the palace: and a damsel came unto him, saying, 'Thou also wast with Jesus of Galilee.' But he denied before them all, saying, I know not what thou sayest."

New: "Meanwhile Rocky was still sitting in the courtyard. A woman came up to him and said: 'Haven't I seen you with Jesus, the hero from Galilee?" Rocky shook his head and said: 'I don't know what the hell you're talking about!'"

I'd find it all much less amusing if I could think of any reason to take it seriously.

Comments

[xforge.livejournal.com]

The bottom line of course is, if you're having a conversation with someone who grew up reading the KJV or the RSV, and all you've read is the Sillyassed Translation, how're you going to know what anyone's talking about? They say Simon Peter, you ain't never heard anything but Rocky; they say Jesus, you ain't never heard anything but Manny... hehehe...

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

Okay, I can't hear the nickname "Manny" without thinking of that scene on Little House on the Prairie where Laura Ingalls meets Almonzo Wilder for the first time and miscalls him by the name "Manly," provoking mirth all round. So now in my mind's eye there's Melissa Gilbert as Mary Magdalene just after having seven demons cast out of her processed her Issues, calling Jesus "Manly" while Rocky and the other guys stare on in disbelief and Manny gently explains that while he's flattered by all the attention, he really cannot in good conscience become romantically involved with a client.

[blue-by-you.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the link. I went and read the opinions and his explanation. I like it. Seriously.

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

I can understand the urge to rewrite the Bible in more modern language. And I can understand the wish to interpret it in more inclusive ways, though I'm not sure that what this guy's done should be called "translation." But it's the word choices that grate on me more than anything. I just can't really take something seriously that would refer to John the Dipper and Tessatown.

[daisydumont.livejournal.com]

"Take a running jump, Holy Joes, humbugs!"

i like that, and i like Rocky. (i might've suggested "you big phonies" over "humbugs," which is pretty much archaic in the US at last.)

[daisydumont.livejournal.com]

errrr, at *least*. ;)

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

Okay, but what's a "Holy Joe"?

[daisydumont.livejournal.com]

oh, is old expression meaning someone too pious for words, ornately devout.

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

Ah. So even the modernization isn't very modern. I was wondering about that.

[dcjensen.livejournal.com]

On the other hand, is "Take a running jump, Holy Joes, humbugs!" a real piece from the translation?

As far as the "one" site shows, only the one book has been released, and that differs from the "mark" book that is being quoted in this story.

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

From an article linked by the updated version of the website, it looks like the New Testament has been released (though one story I've seen elsewhere says Revelation's not in there while one of the noncanonical books is). Mark is one of the NT gospels, so presumably it's in the book as released.

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

Just checked this page for details. If it's 608 pages, I guarantee it's got more than just one book of the Bible in there! An entire New Testament would only be two or three hundred pages, so I'm wondering what else they've put in there.

Ack. gotta go, so I don't have time to hunt around for more book details. maybe later...

[polonius.livejournal.com]

What gets me about these new "accessible" translations is the sheer violence they do to the aesthetics of the text. The bible and I have our differences, content-wise, but my god, the KJV is beautiful to listen to when read by anyone with any public-speaking competence at all. The quality of the writing in the modern versions makes me think of nothing so much as poor-quality fanfic.

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

The quality of the writing in the modern versions makes me think of nothing so much as poor-quality fanfic.

Heh. You may have identified the problem right there. I'd guess that at least some of the paraphrases are written in a fanfic state of mind.

[(Anonymous)]

I noticed under your intersts it says Jeff Black. Are you intersted in me? o.O; That is my name but I don't think I know you. Or are you intersted in that country musician dude who also has the same name?