An attendance of STR Nicholas

As part of my celebration of the holiday season, here is the traditional mutilation of a popular Christmas poem. Originally this was done in 1999 by running the poem through Babelfish's English-to-German translator and dragging it back to English again. Last year I sent the poem through the translation process again to see if Babelfish's results had improved any, so I will be posting both versions for your entertainment. Anyway, the resulting poem is, as everyone must agree, even more of a classic than the original version by Clement Clarke Moore (or possibly Henry Livingston). Enjoy!


An attendance of STR Nicholas


' Twas the night before Christmas, when by the house a creature did not agitate itself completely, a mouse do not smooth; The socks were hung by the fire-place with Obacht, in hopes that STR would be Nicholas there soon;

The children nest LED quite comfortably in their beds, while sights of the sugar plums danced into their headings; And mamma in their ' kerchief and I in my protective cap, had agreed upon even down for the hair of a long winter,

When on the lawn such developed out a Geklapper, I rose from the bed, in order to see, what the material was. Away to the Window I flew like lightning, tore opened the shutters up violently and threw up sash.

( The moon on the chest of the again-pleased snow... )

Useful Link of the Moment

New Scientist TV: No magnet required: How to build a compass out of Lego. Sadly, I do not own any of the relevant Technic parts.

Sigh.

This morning I was going to go to the doctor's office to find out if anyone there was willing to listen to my breathing or anything, but when I got up I realized that I was breathing pretty well and could probably skip going to the doctor for now. I decided to go to the office anyway because I need to get bloodwork done in advance of my new year's physical, so I skipped breakfast and all beverages save water and eventually overcame my not-a-morning-person tendencies well enough to get out of the house and onto the Metro. (For the record: Cold, windy weather doesn't make me any happier that I've left the house in the morning, even when I am wearing several layers of warm clothing. Going back home to bed sounded like a wonderful, wonderful idea.) So, I made it to the office, which was as slow and empty as I'd expected just before the holiday, and found out that they don't do bloodwork on Thursdays anymore. By that point I might have asked to see a doctor, but the new person at the front desk chose to be nasty to me and then another patient, so I figured this was a good time to go elsewhere and fill my growly stomach with something tasty.

First, I wandered into a music/video/games store. Well, "wandered into" may be misleading, since I fell down rather spectacularly as soon as I got through the door. Nothing was seriously damaged except for my pride, which wasn't worth much anyway. I spent some time looking in the bargain DVD and CD cases and was impressed by the store's collection of old LPs. Didn't buy anything, though I'll probably go back there next week and see if any of the 75¢ items appeal to me.

There was a Whole Foods store nearby. This Whole Foods had a lovely hot food bar, so, since the store is called Whole Paycheque for a reason, I ended up spending entirely too much per pound for my lunch (though the price seems less awful if you think of it as both breakfast and lunch for the day). Food was tasty and people at the cafe (both customers and workers) were friendly, so it was a worthwhile splurge I probably should not repeat until well into 2011. I supplemented the meal by going back into the store to sample cheeses, crackers, and salsas. Also tried some samples of whichever coffee they were trying to promote today, which confirmed that either (a) I still don't like coffee, or (b) I just haven't found the right coffee yet. At least the caffeine helpled beat back the migraine I was getting.

After food, I went to spend some happy time in a bookstore. Mmmm, books. I'm not buying any books any time soon, but it's such fun to browse!

Now I'm tired, hungry, somewhat headachy, hoping that my legs hurt less tomorrow than they have ever since I fell today, and very much hoping that my return to the doctor's office next week goes better than it did today. Am also hoping that I won't need to go to that office for anything other than bloodwork until my next regularly scheduled appointment.