HAL-o-scopes!

Yes, all you poor wanderers upon this fevered globe have been without the guidance of MegaHAL for far too long. It is time for you to listen to the voice of the stars, as interpreted by everyone's favorite artificial nonsense generator! (And it's true: I am a Libra. Eerie how well that works out.)

( Aries )

( Taurus )

( Gemini )

( Cancer )

( Leo )

( Virgo )

( Libra )

( Scorpio )

( Sagittarius )

( Capricorn )

( Aquarius )

( Pisces )