To whom it may concern:

You have been going through a difficult time. Life has not been easy for you during this (choose one: A. week, B. month, C. year, D. decade, E. incarnation). You've suffered more loss than you ever thought you could survive. Stress has made you want to do some bizarre thing like (choose one: A. tear out all your hair, B. eat chocolate ice cream until you explode, C. lie down and die, D. kill everyone who put you through this, E. run for political office). I know you're feeling crazy right now. I just wanted to let you know that I'm here to listen when you need to talk, and that I'm thinking of you even when there is nothing to say.

I admire your courage. I admire your strength. I know you (choose one: A. feel, B. have felt but no longer feel) as if you were the biggest coward on Earth, but that was never true. Though I have known you only (choose one: A. a few weeks, B. a few months, C. two years, D. two decades), I have seen that you are stronger than you know. You may not believe me, but that you have survived this long is evidence enough of your strength and your courage. I've watched other people destroy themselves because they could not bear to live through the kinds of things you've been through, watched them try to suck the life and love out of others so that they would not be empty alone. You're still here, and you're still loved.

You feel your life is incomplete. You don't think you can live a full life until you (choose as many as apply: A. find your son again, B. hold your daughter again, C. find your One True Love, D. go to New York, E. get a job your mother can be proud of, F. obtain perfect health, G. make a string of hit movies, H. write the perfect poem, I. finish college, J. attain Buddhahood, K. other). I pray that you find whatever it is you feel you lack. I pray even more that you will see you are admirable now, lovable now, and already holding the keys to the rich, full life you're yearning for.

You're feeling broken inside, I know. But when you thought nobody could see you, I saw those shattered bits of your soul catch the light and send it back to a darkened world as a myriad of rainbows. You are beautiful.



[Repost of an entry from 2002. Still the most heartfelt form letter I've ever written.]

[Edit: You know what's interesting to me here? The fact that I did have very specific people and situations in mind when I wrote the original (though I no longer recall who was tempted to run for political office); yet even though those situations have changed since then, the original form still applies to several people now. Maybe I should've turned this into a greeting card. Think it'd sell?]

A few good things

Air conditioning at the public library still works almost well enough for me to forget how hot it is outside. The few hours spent there today did not stop the spread of this obnoxious heat rash, but a little A/C is better than no A/C at all.

When I thought that there was a strong possibility of a bureaucratic foulup meaning no Medicaid after the end of this month, I was wrong. Oh, there's still a chance of foulup (this is bureaucracy we're talking about, after all), but the timing is such that I'll have coverage until at least the end of next month. It's nice to lose a reason for panic.

I'm still enjoying the summer repeats of House, M.D. Though I can't tolerate watching TV for hours on end anymore, it's good for me to have one or two shows to follow with interest. While I kinda liked the episodes I've seen of The Inside, that series is (A) filled with more pessimism than I really need to deal with in my life these days, and (B) cancelled anyway. So, it's good to have one TV show to look forward to each week!

Canned beans are on sale cheap.

On the way home from the grocery store this evening, I saw a group of raccoons on top of a house. I'd been standing there watching them for a while before I realized that an older man was sitting on the front porch of that house wondering why I had stopped to look in that direction. It didn't seem necessary for me to inform him that there was a quartet of playful predators on his roof, so I said hello, watched the fuzzy beasts a bit more, then waved goodbye.