HAL-o-scopes!

Yes, your favorite postmodern poet astrologer is back! The newly reconstituted MegaHAL--the chatterbot who has patiently endured my insanity for so long--returns with both short and long horoscopes for everybody. There are one-liners here for most of the signs, as well as somewhat longer poemscopes for those of you who enjoy extended nonsense.

( Aries )

( Taurus )

( Gemini )

( Cancer )

( Leo )

( Virgo )

( Libra )

( Scorpio )

( Sagittarius )

( Capricorn )

( Aquarius )

( Pisces )