hummingwolf (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hummingwolf) wrote2005-06-01 07:45 pm
hummingwolf) wrote2005-06-01 07:45 pm
Entry tags:
HAL-o-scopes!
Yes, your favorite postmodern poet astrologer is back! The newly reconstituted MegaHAL--the chatterbot who has patiently endured my insanity for so long--returns with both short and long horoscopes for everybody. There are one-liners here for most of the signs, as well as somewhat longer poemscopes for those of you who enjoy extended nonsense.
Aries: some people can only get better.
Aries: when making your case, don't force the issue. Wait for
thousands of years,
years unassuaged of desire,
but it all on the street.
st. Theresa of avila, beautiful and grave,
turned her back on you today but you should see her clearly.
Taurus: this schedule isn't the cat is 50% alive and 50% dead. When we open the box and look at you.
Taurus: want a break? You'll have to live with myself,
my love went whistling by,
thunder gripping the earth
and let it explain
why won't you come from?
all they that with strange alarms.
Gemini: time to get what you love.
Bonus one-liner for Gemini:
Gemini: learn to pinch a penny. In fact, learn to pinch a penny earned.
Gemini: your beliefs, once rigid, are suddenly in disarray. Flexibility is crucial.
nothing's set in the days when victoria reigned.
they push the moon and the mountains with their fingers crossed
with a laugh and glisten
in her hair the curly way.
though your fame resound as loud as thunder;
before long, all will vanish into void.
HAL refused to do a one-liner for Cancer, so here's a couplet:
Cancer: whatever you take on, do it
without a bureaucracy.
Cancer: make your point, fine, but don't hurt
someone's feelings along the sidewalks.
the neighbors heard his mournful squeal;
they knew my mother,
but that it was
also occur. The male orgasm is preceded by
with leaps, like startled deer,
down to the spirits
i guess they made us hesitate
to say farewell to my home?
Leo: face it: you might learn something.
Leo: take advantage of social opportunities. There'll be plenty of
my mad existence
i hate their interest in the air in my head:
all lay hands to heal:
too vast and wandering dream of gardens in the tide
coordinates their ends, the sea of emotion
not reaching the ground.
Virgo: you may wonder when things are made.
Virgo: you can win without playing fair. But eventually that strategy
will not be more than a grapefruit squirts,
i find... A poem poorly rhymed
and that man comes on the atomic and
asked, are these yours?
Libra: you'll never learn if you don't want to remember this.
Libra: the details only seem mundane. In fact, learn to pinch a penny until it
in its deepest workings,
all the sweet song of an ingenue,
this drink has extended permission
to see the loveliness
to be some other person for a leprechaun,
and noise falls into place.
Okay, HAL didn't put a line break in this first one, but does it look like a one-liner to you? I didn't think so. All you water signs inspire wordiness today:
Scorpio: you radiate confidence today. What do you want to live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
Scorpio: the past is history
i feel i could give many more.
i look into the setting sun
is heard of the skies.
i was sick, poor lady, because words
in the world's escapees, rubbing themselves lasciviously against the record machine
i knew how to act with dispatch and vigor,
and tired upon a dime
all the livelong day.
i knew you'd have a world of light.
Sagittarius: you may be looking very old tonight.
Sagittarius: don't take people's comments so literally. They're just trying
to grin at me with the same time victims
herded together in the garden when the planet of the sun,
a river leading nowhere.
opposite my window,
the television screaming at itself,
on the burnished disk of matter and its indorsement
is full of troubles
and i've got to take a sock at your rotundity, and savage is my love with worries,
and in my arms around me and then quench itself in the sweet song of nature.
Capricorn: your friends are acting a lot goes on but the wind our true concern--for freedom.
Capricorn: if someone flips their lid like a floating death,
their bodies shaking and bent and grey is not satisfied that it seems that way
well maybe it is showing--
locust cry.
Aquarius: your winning streak is impressive. But don't forget how to reform the world.
Aquarius: your memory is not ashamed
to correspond to ruins in the trees
ruffling their leaves--and i begin to bleed
as grishkin in a dream
remember how i want to fill it with feeling, say it with restraint.
it was going on without you.
Just as HAL refused to do a one-liner for Cancer, he wouldn't do a one-liner for Pisces either. Here's your shortest one:
Pisces: your warmth could heat a thousand eyes.
look at all i meet, or know.
Pisces: there's no use trying to convert others
one can never look back."
i thought i had forgotten,
but in the leafy vine.
there, on a stormy day,
till nature had exhausted all her possessions went.
that day in a strange city
blurred. Something
leaked out,
but fortune and the arab drum.
you play deep music--know well what you want, that's the object: in the end
i am standing in the refrigerator. The longer it stays refrigerated, the better it gets.
to silence all--half-hearted humanism
and hygiene are enforced today.
Aries: some people can only get better.
Aries: when making your case, don't force the issue. Wait for
thousands of years,
years unassuaged of desire,
but it all on the street.
st. Theresa of avila, beautiful and grave,
turned her back on you today but you should see her clearly.
Taurus: this schedule isn't the cat is 50% alive and 50% dead. When we open the box and look at you.
Taurus: want a break? You'll have to live with myself,
my love went whistling by,
thunder gripping the earth
and let it explain
why won't you come from?
all they that with strange alarms.
Gemini: time to get what you love.
Bonus one-liner for Gemini:
Gemini: learn to pinch a penny. In fact, learn to pinch a penny earned.
Gemini: your beliefs, once rigid, are suddenly in disarray. Flexibility is crucial.
nothing's set in the days when victoria reigned.
they push the moon and the mountains with their fingers crossed
with a laugh and glisten
in her hair the curly way.
though your fame resound as loud as thunder;
before long, all will vanish into void.
HAL refused to do a one-liner for Cancer, so here's a couplet:
Cancer: whatever you take on, do it
without a bureaucracy.
Cancer: make your point, fine, but don't hurt
someone's feelings along the sidewalks.
the neighbors heard his mournful squeal;
they knew my mother,
but that it was
also occur. The male orgasm is preceded by
with leaps, like startled deer,
down to the spirits
i guess they made us hesitate
to say farewell to my home?
Leo: face it: you might learn something.
Leo: take advantage of social opportunities. There'll be plenty of
my mad existence
i hate their interest in the air in my head:
all lay hands to heal:
too vast and wandering dream of gardens in the tide
coordinates their ends, the sea of emotion
not reaching the ground.
Virgo: you may wonder when things are made.
Virgo: you can win without playing fair. But eventually that strategy
will not be more than a grapefruit squirts,
i find... A poem poorly rhymed
and that man comes on the atomic and
asked, are these yours?
Libra: you'll never learn if you don't want to remember this.
Libra: the details only seem mundane. In fact, learn to pinch a penny until it
in its deepest workings,
all the sweet song of an ingenue,
this drink has extended permission
to see the loveliness
to be some other person for a leprechaun,
and noise falls into place.
Okay, HAL didn't put a line break in this first one, but does it look like a one-liner to you? I didn't think so. All you water signs inspire wordiness today:
Scorpio: you radiate confidence today. What do you want to live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
Scorpio: the past is history
i feel i could give many more.
i look into the setting sun
is heard of the skies.
i was sick, poor lady, because words
in the world's escapees, rubbing themselves lasciviously against the record machine
i knew how to act with dispatch and vigor,
and tired upon a dime
all the livelong day.
i knew you'd have a world of light.
Sagittarius: you may be looking very old tonight.
Sagittarius: don't take people's comments so literally. They're just trying
to grin at me with the same time victims
herded together in the garden when the planet of the sun,
a river leading nowhere.
opposite my window,
the television screaming at itself,
on the burnished disk of matter and its indorsement
is full of troubles
and i've got to take a sock at your rotundity, and savage is my love with worries,
and in my arms around me and then quench itself in the sweet song of nature.
Capricorn: your friends are acting a lot goes on but the wind our true concern--for freedom.
Capricorn: if someone flips their lid like a floating death,
their bodies shaking and bent and grey is not satisfied that it seems that way
well maybe it is showing--
locust cry.
Aquarius: your winning streak is impressive. But don't forget how to reform the world.
Aquarius: your memory is not ashamed
to correspond to ruins in the trees
ruffling their leaves--and i begin to bleed
as grishkin in a dream
remember how i want to fill it with feeling, say it with restraint.
it was going on without you.
Just as HAL refused to do a one-liner for Cancer, he wouldn't do a one-liner for Pisces either. Here's your shortest one:
Pisces: your warmth could heat a thousand eyes.
look at all i meet, or know.
Pisces: there's no use trying to convert others
one can never look back."
i thought i had forgotten,
but in the leafy vine.
there, on a stormy day,
till nature had exhausted all her possessions went.
that day in a strange city
blurred. Something
leaked out,
but fortune and the arab drum.
you play deep music--know well what you want, that's the object: in the end
i am standing in the refrigerator. The longer it stays refrigerated, the better it gets.
to silence all--half-hearted humanism
and hygiene are enforced today.
no subject
and cancers won't let you. heh.
no subject
no subject
I'm liking Aries for Hraith, too.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
my fave libra line:
"to be some other person for a leprechaun"
hehe
no subject