If you have a problem with me or with something I have said or done, please tell me. With words. You know what the silent treatment tells me? Absolutely nothing. It gives me a complete and utter lack of useful information. If you do not tell me what is wrong, chances are I will remain clueless until someone else makes reference to your current attitude towards me. If you're not silent but merely treating me differently, then I may have some idea that something's wrong but will continue to have no idea what message I'm supposed to be getting.
Yes, if somebody wants to tell me something, they actually have to tell me something. I'm inconvenient that way.
And I'd appreciate it if people would read into my silences the same lack of anything that I will most likely read into their silences (unless they're one of those people who've proven that they try to communicate with silence, in which case I sometimes get paranoid and assume that their silence means something deep and sinister. Hey, didn't say I was always consistent). There's at least one (non-LJ) person in my life who often assumes that my occasional lack of communication is an attempt to manipulate them in some way. The fact that they have a habit of sending copious e-mails to an address I cannot currently read has nothing to do with anything, apparently. The fact that they habitually call up my answering machine and leave no message to let me know they're trying to reach me somehow proves that I'm avoiding them. I would love to be able to babysit this person and reassure them that I still wuv them, but the fact of the matter is that I don't have the spare time and energy required to put forth such a massive effort.
My silence does not mean consent. My silence does not mean dissent. My silence is just as likely to mean that I've got a migraine or that I got three hours of sleep last night or that I'm tired from fighting bureaucracy all day. The fact of the matter is that if you don't hear from me, my silence probably has nothing to do with you.
A couple of days ago, an anonymous housemate with very pretty handwriting left a note for another housemate which began with the words "Dear Moron." I don't know what else the note said, but I found it quite amusing. Sure, that form of communication is unnecessarily rude, yet at least it is communication and does the job of communicating.
There are times when you won't want to confront somebody and will avoid them instead. That behavior is understandable and frequently healthy. However, if you think your uncommunicativeness is really communicating something, perhaps you need to think again.
Yes, if somebody wants to tell me something, they actually have to tell me something. I'm inconvenient that way.
And I'd appreciate it if people would read into my silences the same lack of anything that I will most likely read into their silences (unless they're one of those people who've proven that they try to communicate with silence, in which case I sometimes get paranoid and assume that their silence means something deep and sinister. Hey, didn't say I was always consistent). There's at least one (non-LJ) person in my life who often assumes that my occasional lack of communication is an attempt to manipulate them in some way. The fact that they have a habit of sending copious e-mails to an address I cannot currently read has nothing to do with anything, apparently. The fact that they habitually call up my answering machine and leave no message to let me know they're trying to reach me somehow proves that I'm avoiding them. I would love to be able to babysit this person and reassure them that I still wuv them, but the fact of the matter is that I don't have the spare time and energy required to put forth such a massive effort.
My silence does not mean consent. My silence does not mean dissent. My silence is just as likely to mean that I've got a migraine or that I got three hours of sleep last night or that I'm tired from fighting bureaucracy all day. The fact of the matter is that if you don't hear from me, my silence probably has nothing to do with you.
A couple of days ago, an anonymous housemate with very pretty handwriting left a note for another housemate which began with the words "Dear Moron." I don't know what else the note said, but I found it quite amusing. Sure, that form of communication is unnecessarily rude, yet at least it is communication and does the job of communicating.
There are times when you won't want to confront somebody and will avoid them instead. That behavior is understandable and frequently healthy. However, if you think your uncommunicativeness is really communicating something, perhaps you need to think again.
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