An old poll

I'm too tired to think of something original to say this morning (I've been trying), so here's a poll I wrote back in October for a mailing list I'm on.

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After skipping class yesterday on the theory that it would be a
waste of time to do my course requiring Internet access if they
hadn't gotten the DSL yet, today I missed class 'cos I'm feeling
sick. My body's timing stinks. Anyway, since my mind is
wandering everywhere, here's a poll.


1. Do you see the forest or the trees?
A. I see the forest.
B. I see the trees.
C. I see a complex interplay of color and form.
D. My eyes are oozing too much for me to see anything,
okay? Now could you please hand me those antihistamines?

My answer:
Most of the time C. If I'm in the middle of the forest, it's A
unless the canopy is so thick that very little sunlight gets
through, in which case it's either B or nada. If I am within
100 miles of a forest and it's spring pollinating season, the
answer is an emphatic D.


2. You are awakened in the middle of the night by your
exceedingly apologetic fairy godmother. There have been these
budget cutbacks, you see, which is why she hasn't been around
much lately. But now she's here, and she's offering you a
choice of gifts. Apologizing once again, she informs you that
in accepting any one of these gifts, you are eliminating your
chances of receiving any of the others within the next five
years. Which do you choose?
A. A portfolio of the most valuable stocks in all the
hottest industries.
B. Your own syndicated TV show, appearing in all major
markets.
C. Perfect health.
D. Your dream man/woman.
E. A home which functions as a perfect sanctuary from the
outside world.
F. The library of Alexandria, restored--and the ability to
read and understand it.
( Read more... )

What do they *really* want, anyway?

Almost a year ago, there was a discussion on one of my favorite mailing lists about couple of lists AOL had about what men and women really want. If I ever do start dating again, this post should probably be required reading for any man crazy enough to think he wants to go out with me.


What do they really want, anyway?

At some ungodly hour this morning, one of the housemates cooked a dish which made my already-queasy stomach even queasier. Couldn't sleep after that. Just thought I should give y'all fair warning that I'm crabby.

>What Women Need to Know: 20 Things Men Find Irresistible
>
>Listen up, ladies! Men love it when you:
>
> 1. Have the ability to tease, be playful and take a joke

K wrote:

> Okay, I like this one. I like to laugh, but don't make
> fun of me. That I don't like.

With K on this one. Of course, I can take some good-natured teasing. But thanks to a rotten childhood, I have had more than enough mean-spirited ridicule to last the rest of my lifetime. Always remember that, given the choice between staying with an asshole and dying an old maid, I'll take spinsterhood in a heartbeat.

That said, personal history shows that an asshole with a sense of humor will keep my attention longer than the self-preservation instinct alone would allow.

> 2. Know that men are not, in fact, from Mars, and women
> are not from Venus

F wrote:

> And know that "self-help" books with bullshit catchy
> titles are a load of rotten bananas.

My parents collected self-help books. They inherited most of the books belonging to my grandfather, who also had a bunch of self-help books. I've not only read most of the famous ones, but I've read a few you've never heard of and never should have heard of. Nearly all self-help books, no matter what their authors' biases--unabashed capitalist, communist, Christian, Taoist, Buddhist, neopagan, atheist, positive thinker, utter cynic, behaviorist, cognitivist, Freudian, Jungian, whatever their credo or manifesto may be--have two things in common: 1. Some solid, common-sense advice, and 2. The veriest nonsense.

Here's what I'd like a man to understand: I am not going to be stereotypically feminine any more than I am going to be stereotypically masculine. I am also not going to be a stereotypical American, a stereotypical WASP, a stereotypical suburbanite, a stereotypical INFP, a stereotypical linguistics major with a minor in psychology, or a stereotypical anything else you might think I should be. I am going to be *me*. If a guy can't deal with that little fact--if he feels compelled to cram everyone he meets into some little box and gets all flustered when they crawl outside his imaginary walls--then he can stay the Hell out of my life.
( Read more... )

Another silly quiz thingie

( Which Buffy Baddie Am I? )