hummingwolf | (no subject)

Preparation has a lot to do with how well one handles things. Did you do your homework? Then, ideally, you will be prepared to do well on this test. Unless you find out you picked up the wrong text at the college bookstore, you're in the wrong class and have done preparatory work that would have helped someone else but is completely and utterly useless to you.

My early life trained me well to live by directing vast amounts of energy toward intellectual pursuits, avoiding people much of the time because I'd figured out early on that most people would hurt and betray me given half a chance. Then I ended up with an illness that drains my energy, leaves me unable to concentrate on the things I trained myself to do for so long--but somehow I ended with more and more wonderful friends than I would have thought possible when I was younger. I don't have a clue how to make a life out of this. Somebody with a completely different background would have no problem with it, I'm sure.

On an unrelated note, whatever happened to Toni Childs? And why is an album called House of Hope one of the most depressing albums in my collection?

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"I'd figured out early on that most people would hurt and betray me given half a chance."

HW, what made you decide that was the way life was? First, I disagree you "figured it out," because I don't believe what you say is true in the least; second, what on earth would have made you feel that way at such a young age? (This is Jenny, by the by .)

It just strikes me as sad that even as a young child, when most kids were blithely hopping around grinning and having a mindless blast, you felt in danger. :-(

HW, what made you decide that was the way life was? First, I disagree you "figured it out," because I don't believe what you say is true in the least;

Because for the unpopular kid that was me in early elementary school, it was true. The kids who called themselves my friends at the private school were the ones who pounded me into the dirt--literally, though I don't know if my body still carries those scars.

second, what on earth would have made you feel that way at such a young age? (This is Jenny, by the by .)

Well, see above. The kids at the old school who were having a mindless blast were having the mindless blast at my expense. The things that happened in second and third grade had a big effect on me.

I don't know. Bryan's been dealing with hellacious teasing for five months now, and he just told me about it. It's been all of his classmates ganging up on him, the evil midgets, and he was scared to talk to me or an adult, because he feared it would get worse for him. I have a girlfriend, Kris, whose 4th grade son Connor has been in the same situation (also, for him, in 3rd grade).

Trust me, Kris and I talk about bullying a lot and its effects on kids. I just know that being bullied isn't on its own going to be the deciding factor that means a child decides that life is painful. And yes, for Connor the bullying was violent, even to the point where a s**thead was kicked out for physical abusing that sweet kid.

Of course, Bryan and Connor are both sensitive boys, and other kids don't get that. I'm sure other people sensed that you were "different," and then there were unpopular people like me who would go along to get along, if it meant saving themselves from bearing the brunt of the alpha female pack beasts.

I guess what I'm trying to get at--and I totally understand if you want to save this for a more private forum!--is that many children get bullied, but not all come away with the same worldview you formulated.