hummingwolf

Current Mood: angry

Grr.

I am so very much not fit for human society right now. Remember how I said that since I began feeling less depressed, my predominant emotion has been anger? Am now altogether too tempted to take out my anger on the undeserving. Of course in the heat of the moment I tend to think they are deserving--and heck, some of the folks I've had to deal with probably do need at least a good tongue-lashing and possibly another kind of lashing, but Not. Right. Now.

Right now I just need to find a way to keep everyone away from me until I'm a little bit closer to sane.

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how about we solve some of your other problems by getting people to pay you to have the people they most want lashed locked into a room with you for an hour or two?

cathartic, and profitable.

That'd be nice, but by the time I find some customers I'll probably be cheerily oohing and aahing over the cherry blossoms or something. The catharsis does sound good though. So does the money.

Primal scream therapy in the shower?
Perhaps go tear up an old phone book?
Draw pictures and then scribble them out?
Cook pop corn one kernel at a time in hot oil.
Shoot rubber bands at people on magazine covers.

Just don't chew on the rugs.

Primal scream therapy? Wonder how long it'd take for the housemates to drag me out and have me locked up. The picture thing could work, maybe.

And of course I won't chew on the rugs. I owe the landlord too much money as it is.

Tear up a phone book? Never tried that. I always thought you had to be bionic to do that. Errr... or bombarded by gamma radiation.

I do like the popcorn idea. :-D

There are several ways to tear up the phone book.

1)Hulk method: Place phone book in both hands, hold out in front of you, tear it in half with a mighty roar.

2)Human method: Place phone book on thigh, grip with both hands and tear down against your thigh, it should rip after a couple of hard jerks.

3)Smart method: Tear out one page at a time. No hernia and it lasts longer. Plus you can play waste paper ball into the trash can.

Unwilly

Ooh. If I were the type of person who were to inadvertently predict other people's futures, I'd guess that Saga is all a metaphor for you, and you are right now where Zephyr was when he was in college just a week before he met Reg. This is even a part that I wrote down, um, somewhere back there. Unfortunately, I don't predict other people's futures, only my own, and Zephyr is not based on you, he's a combination of me and several other friends I'll be too tactful to mention here because one or two might read this, and... uh...

This isn't to say that a week from now, your future life partner won't come stumbling into your life... and whether that'll make things better if it does happen isn't something I'm willing to guess at... I'm just mostly saying I'm seeing ripples and echoes again, and it would be somewhat cool if your small god had the same thing in mind that I did.

I know, that was entirely not helpful. Sorry.

Not directly helpful, but it was amusing. Thanks!

So....where was it that I read so long ago, that anger turned inward is depression, and also the root of immune disorders? I'd guess that for you anger is a good thing. The trick is to be angry mindfully, you know what I mean?

Sometimes when I'm angry I just sit and feel where it is in my body.

It seems to be true that a lot of depression and even milder forms of sadness is a way of hiding from ourselves that we're truly feeling anger, yet much anger appears to be our way of hiding deep sadness. With all the ways humans have of hiding our feelings from ourselves and others, it's amazing we ever know what we're feeling at all.

When I'm angry, it's often better for me to move--get out and walk quickly with brief periods of running if possible--than it is to try to sit still. I guess I figure that if I've got this energy welling up anyway, I'd better use it somehow.

Yes moving is good, and sometimes throwing potatos, but that'a a whole other story....

Throwing eggs is more fun for me. They make such a satisfying splat.

*attaches chocolate to end of 10' pole*

*points pole in your general direction*

;)

now, see.. *I* was just going to attatch little parachutes and air drop it.

Heh. That also works, just as long as it doesn't land in a mud puddle.

like *you* would let chocolate fall all the way to the ground without nabbing it out of the air.

rriiiiiggghhht.

Thank you. I've probably eaten too much chocolate lately, though (::gasp:: Too much chocolate? Can such things be???). Any chance you could pass me some nice roasted chicken? Or pizza. Mmm... pizza.

i have come here on a mission..

i was going to post some things for some people in my journal, but i don't want it mixed up with Drama-caine Moronicus going on over there.

so i am hunting people down in their own ljs..

and now i am here to tell you that you are a truely amazing person. because i know some of what you are dealing with, with different details, and i admire so much about what you *are*.
your intelligence astounds me. not because it is a Big Brainiac Database.. but because it makes its own connections in amazingly creative and beautiful ways.
your sense of humor is a work of art. really. a bit of Living Art. i find you one of the funnier people i know.. and mostly where many people don't even get that you *were* being funny. subtlety is a lost art, and you are a Lost Artist. (LOL)
and i know that you worry that things are getting away from you.. and that you are not Doing..
but i want to tell you..
you make a difference in this world just by Being..
and i don't mean that in the cheesy-after-school-special-we're-all-wonderful way. nope. not everyone can say this, but it is true of you. you have a Gift of weaving into the Bigger Story just by *Being*, without having to *do* anything.. and i KNOW how frustrating it can be to want to Do More.. but you have more effect when you aren't *doing* than many people have *trying* all their lives...

and i just want you to remember that i count you on the shortlist of people i find truely and utterly fucking amazing, and who i will always be happy to have met in my life.

cuz i thought you should know that.

Thank you. Thank you. And thank you.

sadness is anger directed back at one's self. Perhaps it would be good to find a place to direct your anger...maybe in a way that would be benificial to you and non destructive to passers by? If you figure that out let the rest of us know, we need more things to do with anger:)

Tracey

Still working on that redirection. If I find a good way to use the anger, I'm sure you'll read about it in this journal. :-)

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Grr.

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anger management from the Hulk?

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(i wish i had slept so that i could maybe be coherent about it, but..)

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I don't know where I heard it but...

Re: I don't know where I heard it but...