Wait, wait... There's *still* a "War on Christmas?"

[hummingwolf]

Good grief, people, I thought this nonsense would be over by now. But hai_kah_uhk pointed out a lovely Language Log post on "Victims and etymology", which demonstrates that people are getting their War on Christmas and their War on Language confused, which makes me wonder how the War on Drugs can be made to fit into it all. But anyway, as some of you might recall, I received a relevant message from an important personage two Decembers ago. It all went something like this...



So everybody's talking about some War on Christmas these days. Today theferrett made this post which has generated approximately seven zillion comments so far as well as spawning posts in others' journals. Over in lyssabard's journal I commented:

My parents (both Christian and conservative) always taught me that it was polite to wish people "Happy Holidays!" this time of year if you had no idea what they celebrate. Sure, most people celebrate some form of Christmas, but it was (said Mom) polite not to make the assumption that everybody thinks like you. Also, if somebody wishes you a happy holiday-you-don't-celebrate, it is polite to thank them for their good wishes--after all, they are wishing you happiness.

Personally I think the silly "War on Christmas" should be re-termed the War on Politeness. But apparently that's just me.

After I'd typed that up, I got word from an elf. No, not one of the usual elves I like to hang out with, but one of the Big Guy's elves--a genuine Elf from Santa's Workshop up at the North Pole. I have an official message for all of you from Father Christmas, so youse guys had better listen up:

According to Mr. Claus himself, from this point onward, if any of you abuse the Christmas Spirit by mouthing off at some stranger who wished you a happy holiday or sent you greetings of the season, or if you complain about the fact that your local shopping mall has slightly fewer religious displays than your local house of worship, or if you whinge at a hapless salesclerk that their employer's advertising campaign somehow violates your religious liberties, or you yell at your neighbor for offering you the blessings of a holiday other than the specific one you prefer--You Will Pay. If you are lucky, dear St. Nick will simply slip into your house one night and bash your kneecaps. That's if you're lucky. You think Santa's just a jolly fat man who gives out presents? Oh ho ho no, you had better think again. Think back on your very worst family holidays and ponder this: That too was a reflection of the Holiday Spirit. Never doubt that Santa Claus has ways to make you cry.

Happy Holidays and pass the egg nog.

Comments

[rialian.livejournal.com]

===Best....post...ever...(lol) I love the letter...

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

I'm gonna go on record as saying that theferrett is full of shit.

But I'm all in favor of pissing off the whingers who scream about a "War on Christmas".

If anybody gets mad at me for saying "Happy Holidays" and says "I think you mean Merry Christmas!", I will say, "No, I mean 'Happy Christsicle Day'."

'Cause they put him on a stick, y'see...

[daisydumont.livejournal.com]

what an interesting post! i'm 1/5 way through the thread now.

[hasufin.livejournal.com]

Gods, i really don't want to revisit that dispute. I will say that this December is way better than that one two years ago; that argument was a most unpleasant blemish in my opinion. I'm really pretty happy if no one gets in my face about stuff like that, and if I should shake my head and say "tut-tut" about something or other, that's my own business.

[daisydumont.livejournal.com]

cb, do you know why some of the people in the discussion thread have names that are all black with no links? have their ljs been suspended since they posted? "wolfmudenaugen" is the name i keep seeing that's like that.

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

That is what that means, yes. After the huge "Strikethrough 2007" debacle back last spring, Six Apart, in their infinite wisdom, decided the best solution was to change the code so that deleted people show up bolded, instead of struck-through.

[daisydumont.livejournal.com]

brilliant minds at work there, for sure. thanks for confirming my suspicion.

now i get to wonder how wolfmudenaugen, who had a fabulous screenname, got suspended and bolded. none o' my business, but that won't stop me from wondering!

[urbpan.livejournal.com]

As far as I can tell, christmas won the fucking war. Where can you go to escape its influence? Where can I go to avoid hearing the horrible music?

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

You can always sing Lovecraftian Carols in revenge, like I do.

[compostwormbin.livejournal.com]

Nope, it's not over. Bill O'Reilly has been beating the "war on Christmas" drum pretty hard this year.

[bunney.livejournal.com]

MERRRRRREH CHWISTMASSSSSS!!!!!

Sorry, I am sick of the media, amongst others, telling me I can't say Merry Christmas.

[hasufin.livejournal.com]

Is there anyone who is actually saying that? All I've heard is second-hand that "the liberals"* won't let you say "Merry Christmas", or even practice Christmas, even in your own home.
But, um, I've yet to encounter anyone, liberal or otherwise, who actually expressed anything more outlandish than that government institutions shouldn't directly promote Christmas, what with it being a religious holiday and all.

As far as I can tell, it's a total straw man intended to get people stirred up. And then when those who are subsequently stirred up and get obnoxious, which of course is pretty darned annoying anyway, are told to please stop, then the pundits can say "AHA! See? We TOLD you they hated Christmas!"




* an epithet which apparently falls somewhere between "nazis" and "baby-killing America-hating towel-headed queers"

[mariness.livejournal.com]

:: sings completely inappropriate Kwansaa songs at you ::

(not that I know any.)

(which makes it all the more inappropriate, now that I think about it.)

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

Why, thank you, purple guy with the stick!

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

Yeah, your dislike of Ferrett is pretty well-known by now, at least among those who have ever mentioned his posts in your company.

But I'm all in favor of pissing off the whingers who scream about a "War on Christmas".

Heh. Especially since most of us have seen no evidence that Christmas is suffering at all here.

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

The person didn't necessarily get suspended; they might have just deleted their account. It was apparently done long enough ago that the account was purged, so we'll never know what was there..

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

December two years ago was just a farce, at least in the media. I don't know how it all affected you personally.

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

Well, I mostly stay at home or hang out in muzak-free places. People who don't have that option have my sympathy.

(I like a lot of Christmas songs, or at least think they're no worse in general than the pop music that would otherwise be played in the grocery store. But it would be great if (A) the same few tunes weren't repeated over and over and over and bloody over again and (B) all pop divas who considered tackling "O Holy Night" were locked away until the urge passed.)

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

Not having cable, I'm not entirely sure who Bill O'Reilly is, but I have to wonder if he's ever actually bothered to go out to his local shopping mall.

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

Which media do you mean: the television with the constant Christmas episodes and Christmas specials, or the radio with all the ads telling you how many days are left for you to do your Christmas shopping? 'Cos I have yet to hear anybody telling me I can't say Merry Christmas, and I actually haven't been entirely media-free this year.

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

Well, Hanukkah's over by now, so you could say that any Hanukkah songs are inappropriate now. Won't stop me from listening to my Festival of Light CD, though.

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

Merry December! May you be eaten first!

[daisydumont.livejournal.com]

oh! my bad -- i didn't notice how old the post was. i didn't even look, thought it was a fresh one that had just exploded with activity. (i've seen that happen in ljnews & ljbiz threads. *g*)

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

I've mentioned that before, I have?