For those wondering...

[hummingwolf]

... I'm still alive. Haven't been up to writing much, or all that good at using language many days. Have managed to socialize a little bit with folks who live in the neighborhood, though. Been spending time playing with the computer, hoping to do something worthwhile at some point. Haven't managed to read as much as I would like, thanks to that language problem. Health is worse in several ways and I'm terrified. Of course I keep scheduling appointments with various doctors, but I have yet to figure out who is most likely to be able to help. Anyway, I finally realized yesterday that the music of Nine Inch Nails is the best therapy I have for this kind of terror, so I listened to Pretty Hate Machine and The Downward Spiral a few times before giving in to necessity and going to bed early.

So. Not doing very well, really. Here's hoping things get better before I lose these last few shreds of sanity.

On the sillier side,

You are the Hanged Man

Self-sacrifice, Sacrifice, Devotion, Bound.

With the Hanged man there is often a sense of fatalism, waiting for something to happen. Or a fear of
loss from a situation, rather than gain.

The Hanged Man is perhaps the most fascinating card in the deck. It reflects the story of Odin who offered himself as a sacrifice in order to gain knowledge. Hanging from the world tree, wounded by a spear, given no bread or mead, he hung for nine days. On the last day, he saw on the ground runes that had fallen from the tree, understood their meaning, and, coming down, scooped them up for his own. All knowledge is to be found in these runes.

The Hanged Man, in similar fashion, is a card about suspension, not life or death. It signifies selflessness, sacrifice and prophecy. You make yourself vulnerable and in doing so, gain illumination. You see the world differently, with almost mystical insights.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

And then I asked a question at
http://crowdsourcetarot.makeincense.com

"So, then. What do I need to know now?"

The Basis:
Random
A long string of digits streams across the face of the card, against a background of paint splotches.
Meaning: Go ahead. Give in to your whimsy.

The Situation:
Network, reversed
A fisher in a flying boat casts a net forth, trying to catch from a school of flying laptop computers. Mystical symbols show on their screens.
Meaning: It is easy to get tangled up in distractions, so you should focus tightly on what is important to you.

The Outcome:
Birth (Alpha of Manifestations), reversed
A woman, assisted by a doula and surrounded by family and friends, pushes her baby out.
Meaning: The responsibilities you are taking on are yours to keep, like it or not.


So, while I'm hanging around anyway, I am responsible for focusing tightly on giving in to my whimsy. Oddly enough, that actually fits in with my current plans, which are... no, no, that would be telling.

Comments

[defeatedbyabridge]

*hugs* Oh, honey, I'm sorry you're feeling so crappy.

[conscience.livejournal.com]

<3 to you

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

<3 to you too!

[daisydumont.livejournal.com]

I'm sure sorry about the terror and the physical problems. It's good that ol' Trent could help a little short-term, but I hope you can figure out which kind of doctor to see!

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I think the answer to "Which doctor do I see?" is "All of them," but I still need to prioritize so I know which ones to go to first. (This would all be so much easier if I could use a transporter rather than relying on Metrobus.)

[bunney.livejournal.com]

*snugs*

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

::snugs back::

[bluegreen17]

sorry to hear you're having such a scary time right now. i do hope you can find the help you need and feel a bit better. i'm glad you found the right kind of music for right now. every little bit helps. sending good vibes.

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

Thank you!