hummingwolf | (no subject)

I keep thinking I should write here more often and let people know how I'm doing, but my current physical and mental state can be summed up with the words "tired" and "cranky" and saying, "Hi there, I'm tired and cranky" really doesn't make for terribly interesting reading. However, in the interests of some kind of honest disclosure, I will tell you that I am, in fact, tired and cranky. This level of tiredness reminds me of the semesters between the time I first got sick and the time I dropped out of college, though now I'm getting more sleep and accomplishing less than I was then. The crankiness and lack of accomplishment are related, and both are related to the fact that I'm still dealing with various forms of bureaucracy--among other things, trying to figure out a way to pay rent and eat a decent amount of food each month; trying to get my doctor's office to give me referrals to specialists whose licenses to practice medicine have not been suspended; trying to find out why my bank balance is significantly lower than all my calculations suggest it is supposed to be, lower by an amount that I can make no sense out of. Of course everything I'm trying to do needs to wait at least till Monday when responsible people are at work, but that doesn't stop me from trying to puzzle it all out beforehand.

On the plus side, in spite of the tiredness, I have been walking at least two miles most days. Even though that exertion does seem to contribute to the tiredness, it also feels like the right thing for me to do, although I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe just because getting my body moving has always been a way for me to keep from becoming too irritable. Though if that's the case, I'm obviously not walking enough.

Hmm, I wonder if allergies are behind more of this crankiness than I thought. I may not be sneezing much at the moment, but this is the time of year when my worst allergens are at their most abundant. All the greenish-yellow dust floating down from the trees can't be helping any.

I worry about the state of my brain. I keep hoping my recent cognitive problems--memory and language, mostly--are temporary, yet keep wondering if some of them might be irreversible. If that recent (small) study of people with fibromyalgia suggesting that our brains age much faster than expected has any validity, I feel like my brain is at least ninety by now.

I'm not forgetting all the good things that have happened recently. At least, I'm usually capable of remembering them, most of the time. But I'm still feeling sick, slightly overwhelmed, and decidedly irritable.

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If that recent (small) study of people with fibromyalgia suggesting that our brains age much faster than expected has any validity...
I missed that study and I find those results very disturbing.

Bureaucracy, the slow court system and everyone's need for 'official paperwork' are hampering my efforts to get my mom's estate taken care of. I sympathize with you that you have to constantly have to deal with all this crazy clap-trap.

All the greenish-yellow dust floating down from the trees can't be helping any.
Holy-moley, I can't believe how many times in the last few days I've had to go out and clean the tables on my deck. That dust (I think it's Alder pollen) is everywhere.

Take care, dear.

It was a small study--10 fibro patients and 10 controls. Still, the results aren't exactly cheering. Abstract here.

Ouch, my sympathies with your bureaucratic problems. I hope things get easier for you soon.

Pollen.com says the predominant pollen here now is from oak, ash, and sycamore. I'm pretty sure other trees are joining in the fun too.

Take care, dear.

Thank you. You too!

Health problems and bureaucracy problems tend to go hand in hand, unfortunately. Hang in there! And keep balancing out letting out the bad stuff with remembering the good stuff. I find that to be a huge help to me.

Yeah, they do, which just makes things more difficult to deal with.

Thank you!

tired and cranky are just fine.
I miss you the days you don't post, even the tired and cranky bits.

Thank you.

*huggles*

::huggles back::

I love you even if you are tired and cranky. Me? I've been tired and loopy, which is slightly more fun.

Hee! I've been letting computer graphics do the looping for me. Not sure if that helps.

I love you too, Andi.

::hug:: For lack of anything better to say, hang in there.

I'm hanging, I'm hanging... and tired of these rope burns around my neck.

::hug::
Thank you.