hummingwolf | (no subject)

In some cases, despite careful and correct
surgery, sterility does not speak--
words of a butterfly's wing, the
fully formed, but immature, offspring is born.

--MegaHAL

I keep thinking I ought to write down what I'm thinking, but if I see what I'm thinking and hear what I'm thinking, I might know what I'm thinking, and I think I don't want to.

I think, therefore I'm scared.

You feel the fluttering in your chest, in your belly, barely noticed at first, barely there. Soon, though, it grows, it's a heavier beating, wings beating from the inside, centered on the solar plexus, making it hard to breathe. You like to tell yourself it's butterflies. Then you start to wonder if it's dragonflies. Then you begin to believe it could be dragons after all.

If I'm not careful, I might breathe fire.

I try to gather words the way a dragon gathers treasure, build up a word-hoard of jewels and gold and royal purple to dress up my thoughts in. But maybe they have no wish to wear those fancy clothes. Maybe they would tear off the clothes I would like to see them wearing, rip and claw and bite at the clothes that would make them pretty, fit for public display. Naked thoughts are invisible, of course, but there's always something around for them to dress up in. Maybe they would rather cover themselves in dust and ash and earth.

It isn't seeing immature thoughts that bothers me. It's the possibility I might find them fully-formed. Words of a dragon's wing, casting aside the clothes of polite society and showing their true selves to the world.

In some cases, despite careful and correct surgery, you discover that you still breathe flames.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I think I understand too well to not be sorry you feel that way...

but this is a beautiful expression of it.

Thank you.

Probably wouldn't have said anything as interesting if not for the push from MegaHAL. Was a little surprised to see the butterfly turn into dragons, though I probably shouldn't have been, given the way it feels inside my body and mind right now.

You feel the fluttering in your chest, in your belly, barely noticed at first, barely there. Soon, though, it grows, it's a heavier beating, wings beating from the inside, centered on the solar plexus, making it hard to breathe. You like to tell yourself it's butterflies. Then you start to wonder if it's dragonflies. Then you begin to believe it could be dragons after all.

If I'm not careful, I might breathe fire.

Virgoes CAN breathe fire, dangit. I am living proof right now ;)

Heh. But you're an earth sign!

then again, you've got good reason to breathe fire these days.

What marvelous writing!

Thank you!

beautiful...

and believe me i understand.

i didnt know u were a virgo. im a leo/virgo cusp myself [please see "pain in the ass" in your friendly household encyclopedia"

Thank you.

Oh,

conscience is a Virgo, but I'm definitely a Libra. This doesn't mean I can't be a pain in the ass, mind you. ;-)