hummingwolf | (no subject)

I don't mind if someone tells me that I don't seem to fit in this dimension, that I seem to have come from somewhere else. It's been said before. I may cackle if someone describes me as "ethereal" and wonder about the drug abuse history of someone who calls me an "angel" in a non-ironic way, but I don't have a problem with people who think that way. It's not as if I weren't raised by a man who said "No child of mine will ever be human!" after all.

And I don't mind if someone is thrilled with the fact that I'm not part of "The System"... wait, yes I do mind. Don't wax rhapsodic about the fact that I'm not working. Do not tell me that it's beautiful that I haven't "bought in to our culture's ideas about working," because frankly it is not my choice to be unable to work. I tried for years to figure out how to get some kind of gainful employment and the realization that my attempts weren't going to work left me painfully depressed for a long year and pretty damn frustrated now. Whatever issues you may have with your job and your life and the materialistic culture you think you hate do not change the fact that my inability to physically deal with regular employment really pisses me off. Before yesterday, the last time someone had been so pleased by my non-participation in "The System," it was a conspiracy-theorist troll who didn't believe in paying income taxes and lived off the grid as much as he could manage. (The guy was a Usenet troll as well as a troll face-to-face. Contrary to popular belief, the most annoying folks you see online are not always quiet and mild in "real life." Some people really are like that.) Getting the same basic unhelpful reaction from someone whose fees are largely paid by Medicaid is amusing, but not amusing enough.

Right, where was I? Oh, basically--I don't mind flakes. Some of my favorite people are like unto crispy breakfast cereal. Sometimes I am one of those people myself. Don't believe that I object to a "flaky" idea because of its flakiness. What I object to is having my life romanticized by someone who doesn't have to live it. Go ahead and believe that my health problems are caused by my origins in some other dimension if you like. Maybe it's even true. I'm glad you think I'm very spiffy. But don't try to tell me how wonderful it is that I'm here in this world without giving me some assistance or at least suggestions on surviving here. Do not rhapsodize about my life when I don't know how I'll be eating next month and my lungs are filled with goop and I'm hurting and I'm tired and I'm bloody well pissed off at life in general, thank you.

Your fricking tax dollars at work.

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Thanks.

Both very passionate and very clear!

My youngersib's bete noir is people who say she must have done something, in a past life or this one, to deserve the lupus. She rightly sees this as a response to their fear that things like that can just happen, and hence could happen to them.

These responses are on the surface more complimentary, but they are still denying your essential reality as a separate person in favor of what they would like to believe. That is annoying to anyone.

Yeah, she may have thought she was helping me in some way, but it's more likely that her words were to try to comfort herself somehow. Very off-pissing, I tell ya.

*huggles*

It always makes me sad and angry when people say that WE'RE too obsessed with money. Easy for them to say when they don't have to count every penny every month to get food! Not to mention not ever being able to buy new clothes or books or whatever.
I can't remember the last time I bought something new...well, except for food. That's not second hand. ;))

And people who complain about "those who are on sickleave due to being lazy". Oh for crying out loud! I would LOVE to have the spirit and energy to be able to go just ONE DAY without feeling like I want to die.

Just because you have a valid complaint does not mean that some people claiming the same status don't. There are a non-trivial number of people giving the genuinely sick a bad name.

And many of those being accused of not being sick, are in fact sick.

Oh, absolutely yes. Could not agree more. It's the fault of the real, existant people who aren't but claim to be disabled(leading to the utterly wrong impression that all people, or even a majority of people, who are on disability, don't deserve it), hence my point about them giving the really sick people a bad name.

Thing is, I keep hearing about people who manage to get on disability and don't deserve it. But I keep meeting people who are too ill to work and can't manage to get help from the systems supposedly set up to help. The first group seems to have some mythical status; the second group is painfully real.

I agree--in my experience, it's way too hard to get on disability, rather than at all too easy. In fairness, I've heard the argument that the really ill/disabled are the ones who are least familiar with the system, while the frauds know the system's ins and outs and are the only ones who can actually take advantage of it easily. I've never met anyone like that, though.

::huggles back::

Don't know what to say other than

((HUGS))

I know it's not much but it's all that I've got, right now.

((HUGS))

Thank you.