hummingwolf: Part of a julia fractal in colors of fire and smoke. (Fire-flavored fractal)
hummingwolf ([personal profile] hummingwolf) wrote2004-11-16 05:10 pm

Why I'm cranky. (Feel free to skip.)

Today, I decided that the best way to spend my time would be to organize my "stuff"--papers, folders, and random small objects which have gone uncategorized since the big depression hit back in January 2003. So I moved some stuff around a bit in order to get to other stuff I wanted to organize, and that little bit had me feeling like I had done too much so I sat at the computer for a while listening to music and trying to type with cold & painful fingers, then made some phone calls to people I've called before for housing-related reasons (not expecting to accomplish much, but figuring that reminding someone I'm still alive and in need is better than doing nothing at all). I feel like I'm going nowhere with the housing stuff, have little to no idea who to call or what to do next, and am not feeling all that hopeful that I'll have a place to be this winter. But doing something is usually better than doing nothing, so I did something.

Then went back to organizing the stuff, making some noticeable progress. Then found out that the dep't of social services is cutting off my cash benefits (food stamps continue, but no word about Medicaid), based on some outdated information from Social Security. So, thanks to my partially-organized stuff, I quickly found the number to call my lawyer so he could fax the appropriate info to social services. Will call soc. services again tomorrow to find out if they received the fax and if there is anything more for me to do. In the meantime, I get to prepare myself for the prospect of going from too-little money to absolutely none. Oh, the thrills and chills of being me.

Went to the rheumatologist yesterday for a follow-up visit and found myself wishing that I'd never told him the name of the doctor who diagnosed me. You see, I was first diagnosed by Famous Expert Guy--not someone you would have heard of, but the sort of doctor who is well known for his research among the people who know about that sort of thing, and who has even testified before Congress concerning some of his research interests. So the rheumatologist yesterday struck me as overawed by that previous doctor, acting as if, having once been treated by Famous Expert Guy, there is really no need for me to try other treatments because I must have tried them all. I wanted to say, "Hey, I saw that doctor about nine years ago! Has there really been no progress at all in nearly a decade?" And then I realized that, well, yes. In spite of research being done, there really are no new physician-approved medical treatments for fibromyalgia, merely tweaks on the old ones. Antidepressants (which make my symptoms worse), various painkillers (some of them with killer side effects), and a few drugs for ADD symptoms, along with assorted old treatments for the fainting/blood-pressure problems I have. Oh, physical therapy may be prescribed as well. Anything else falls within the realm of experimentation, and even the experiments are not all that innovative ("There's a new drug trial for a medication that's being used in Europe which the manufacturer is hoping will be approved for treatment of fibromyalgia in the States. It's an antidepressant, related to this other one you tried seven years ago..."). If I still have medical benefits a month from now, maybe I can get a referral to a neurologist for a different perspective. The last neurologist I saw was at least creative enough to try sticking Q-tips up my nose.

In addition to the above, my right foot hurts--and an inability to get outside and walk is a sure way to make me irritable. I am cranky.

[identity profile] sophy.livejournal.com 2004-11-16 11:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Just sending all manner of good thoughts and positive energy your way.
ext_3407: squiggly symbol floating over water (one)

[identity profile] hummingwolf.livejournal.com 2004-11-17 02:35 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you. I could rapidly tire of being Ms. Cranky McCrankypants, so good thoughts & positive energy are much appreciated!

[identity profile] mystified13.livejournal.com 2004-11-17 01:11 am (UTC)(link)
Sounds like there is never a simple answer with this kind of thing. Still, I wish you the best.
ext_3407: squiggly symbol floating over water (two)

[identity profile] hummingwolf.livejournal.com 2004-11-17 02:36 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you. I'm tempted to say "Hey, I'd settle for some of the best!" But if you're wishing me all the best, I won't refuse it. :-)
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[identity profile] hobbitblue.livejournal.com 2004-11-17 03:23 am (UTC)(link)
*hugs* been there, done that.. the regional expert for epilepsy pronounced me perfectly fine and that was it, doctors all dismiss my health problems and try and send me to shrinks so I gave up.

Fibro is so icky, I wish someone would come up with a treatment for it, or at least that there was a wider range of things to help the symptoms - or better still more people in the medical profession and in charge of welfare would actually recognise the condition.
ext_3407: Dandelion's drawing of a hummingwolf (Hummingwolf by Dandelion)

[identity profile] hummingwolf.livejournal.com 2004-11-17 12:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, this doctor at least knows I have problems, he recognizes that. He just has no clue what else to do about it.

And yes, it would be nice if there were a good treatment! There is at least more research going on these days amongst folks who have found various ways that fibro bodies are off-kilter. So the people who still think that FMS is somehow unreal are losing ground to the ones who know better, but that still doesn't help me make it through the next month!

[identity profile] skygypsy.livejournal.com 2004-11-17 03:24 am (UTC)(link)
*huggles*
/buries you up to your neck in mint M&M's
/makes a castle out of mint kitkats

mmm minty...
ext_3407: squiggly symbol floating over water (Cuddly plush toy)

[identity profile] hummingwolf.livejournal.com 2004-11-17 12:29 pm (UTC)(link)
I'd huggle back, but I appear to be trapped by Mint M&Ms and am only managing to type this through the incredible power of my mind. Must... eat... my... way... free...

:-)

[identity profile] skygypsy.livejournal.com 2004-11-17 02:49 pm (UTC)(link)
*GIGGLE*
woooops
/helps you out
*munch munch*

hehehe