(no subject)

[hummingwolf]

I seem to be bogged down in that kind of depression where you feel nothing and can't be bothered to do anything rather than the kind where you wander around weeping and wailing. As soon as I can get some of my energy back, I expect to be sobbing uncontrollably for a bit. I don't mind the waterworks stage so much if it will go on to the active, not-so-depressed stage where I can actually find the will to do what I need to do. Numbness provides a welcome respite from intensity of (negative) feeling, but it's really no good for long-term survival. Smiling mindlessly (emptily) at people around me doesn't help me get along with them so much when I'm not paying the bills. And I know there are places where I could get free or at least very cheap clothing if I could scrouge up the energy to make some phone calls. So here's hoping I get to the weeping & wailing stage soon. Hey, I seem to be sniffling--good show! Wait, that was only the ragweed pollen... aaachoo!

Doctor's appointment tomorrow. Social Services Thursday. Some things need to be mailed to the lawyer soon. Today should include trips to the bank and grocery store, perhaps walking one way and taking the bus home so I don't wear myself out further. Throat still hurts; not sure if that's because I'm still sick from whatever I had last week, or if it's the pollen in the air. Need to make at least one phone call to family and figure out who in the house owes what for the last few electric bills. Want to read some fluffy book instead.

Last year one of the grocery store clerks told me he always loved to see me in the store because I was always smiling, never cranky, always ready to share a smile with someone else. That really hasn't been true in far too long.

Comments

[iresprite.livejournal.com]

always ready to share a smile with someone else. That really hasn't been true in far too long.

*hugs*

I've been there before. It was a long while before I could really laugh or smile genuinely. I'll be lifting you up in prayer and in my heart. Take care. God meets you where you're at. Peace.

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I appreciate this.

[fionawolf.livejournal.com]

*Hugs*
Hope you feel better soon.

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I hope so too!

[skygypsy.livejournal.com]

i'm sorry to hear you're in a bad funk again :(

i love you!

/showers you with huggles and chocolate

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

Not again so much as continuing. Not the obvious sadness I've had at times, just a lethargy that says, "I know I need to do X in order to get Y that I need to live, but I can't be bothered to do X and Y doesn't really seem worth it anyway." I'm really really tired of this.

/me huggles back and shares the brownies.

*hug*

[fiachra.livejournal.com]

Doesn't seem to be a good day(or month, for that matter) for a lot of people lately :^(

Re: *hug*

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

Thanks, JD. ::hug:: back.

Upon reflection the fact that I'm feverish probably hasn't been helping my mood any. It really has been a bad couple of weeks for a lot of people health-wise.

[windsparrow.livejournal.com]

Bottling some kitty-snuggles and purrs to send you... and hugs of my own... and prayers.

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Andi! Kitty-snuggles are much appreciated, and I'm sending ::hugs:: to you as well.

[unwilly.livejournal.com]

I know just what the clerk means.

I always hear your joy for life in your emails and posts. Even all the crap and illness never damps it all down.

Your pal,

UN