Oh. Um, hi.

[hummingwolf]

Really haven't been writing much here lately, have I? It's probably a good idea to update, if for no other reason than future reference or in case anyone ever wants an explanation of why I haven't been updating.

Incredibly tired. For those keeping track: While I've been having trouble sleeping for the last year or so, I've been especially insomniac since this year's summer solstice. No particular reason that I know of, that's just the way things have been working out.

So between sleep dep and last week's infection (haven't seen a doctor yet--they canceled my appointment and rescheduled for later this week), I'm kinda brain-fried and exhausted at the moment. Managed to walk a mile yesterday and two and a half today anyway, but my mental processes aren't in such good shape. There have been myriad idea fragments floating through my consciousness like bits of DNA or RNA or something in some primordial soup, but they all sank beneath the surface again when they discovered the mental environment was inhospitable to sustained thought. And the metaphor in the previous sentence is your semi-intelligent babble for the night. I'm crispy.

An example of how out of it (what is it anyway?) I currently am: Late last night I asked the folks sitting on the back porch beneath my bedroom window if they could please chat somewhere else so I could sleep. The guys were very polite, apologized profusely, so that worked out okay. But I honestly couldn't tell you whether or not either of the men sitting at the table lives in this house. No clue. Can't tell you if the guy who just walked out of the bathroom is a tenant or a guest either.

Song on my Launchcast station as I typed those last few lines: The Divine Comedy, "Through a Long & Sleepless Night."

Since I'm here babbling anyway, may as well mention that I've been signed into my alternate Yahoo address and listening to the Hummingwolf launchcast station linked above. If anyone's interested in what I've been hearing tonight, here's a playlist:

Queensryche, "Spreading the Disease" (live)
Howard Jones, "Hide and Seek"
Underworld, "Ess Gee"
Alice in Chains, "Man in the Box"
The Corrs, "Dreams (Tee's Radio Mix)"
Kina, "Have a Cry"
Loreena McKennitt, "Banks of Claudy"
Filter, "Hey Man Nice Shot (Nickel Bag)"
Plainsong, "The Clearances"
Erik Friedlander, "Doom Watcher"
The Divine Comedy, "Through a Long & Sleepless Night"
Angelique Kidjo, "Summertime"


If the rest of the record labels ever reach an agreement with Yahoo, my Launch station could be dangerous. Or possibly hopelessly "adult alternative," I'm not sure which.

Will try to get a good night's sleep in a little bit. Wish me luck!

Comments

[hai-kah-uhk.livejournal.com]

I haven't forgotten you! In fact I've been thinking about you frequently. I'm reading "I Have Landed" by Stephen Jay Gould and some passages remind me of you in little intellectual ways.

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

Steven Jay Gould? Huh. I've only read one books by him (though pretty sure a bunch of essays and articles of his are floating around in the back reaches of the memory banks), but I'll take that as a compliment.

I've been reading all your posts, I just haven't been awake enough to say much. Here's hoping that situation gets better soon!

[hai-kah-uhk.livejournal.com]

Of course it's a compliment! If the Freud essay had reminded me of you, that might not have been a compliment, but fortunately the more you-like comments were in other essays. You may in fact have read something by him in a magazine or something... who knows... I guess he did the magazine article thing a lot.

I'm glad you've been reading... I have to admit that the lack of comments on my episodes has contributed to my current feeling of overwhelming loneliness and isolation (that and lack of chat time) and general discouragement but I don't blame that on you. Sometimes everyone stops commenting simultaneously; that's life. And by all means, don't bother waking up for my sake. I know full well that spending every moment half-asleep is better than half the day wide awake and half the day half asleep. It is, in fact, my secret to surviving summer-long insomnias.

I'm all right. Aside from being this close to bursting into a melodramatic rant about how i can't stand this loneliness for another minute, even though I have no choice and keep sabotaging every opportunity to transcend it... but other than that, I'm all right.

Or maybe I should just be graceful and return your well-wishes. Or maybe I could forego the gracefulness part altogether - it never suited me anyway - and return your well-wishes just for the sake of it.

I miss you and I hope you get to be an active participant in (stuff) again soon.