hummingwolf | Bleah.

Aside from the usual pain, exhaustion, near-blackouts, and lack of snuggles, there's another reason my mood wasn't so great today.

In the last dream I remember before waking up, I was staying at the house of some people in the country. It was near lunchtime (in the dream) and I was a wee bit peckish, so the two guys I was talking to suggested I look around in the fridge for something and help myself. I rummaged around a little, found some meat that looked promising, microwaved it, and began to eat.

As I ate, the guys were discussing how they handled death in their part of the country, what happens to the bodies of their loved ones. Specifically, they spoke of what they'd done with the body of their recently-deceased grandmother.

You know where the story goes after that, right?

So I woke up kinda sick to my stomach and have had trouble eating enough to stay upright. Bleah. Good thing I've been eating more like a vegetarian this week anyway. I ended up walking to the grocery store this evening, though, and buying some vegetarian spinach nuggets. They may not be the cheapest food I could buy, but at least they don't taste like Grandma (unless your Grandma is a green leafy vegetable).

In other news, if you've sent any e-mail to my ISP account, I'm sorry--that account hasn't been checked lately thanks to unpredictable connections and too much Taiwanese spam. Hopefully I'll get the messages within the next two days or so.

In other other news which isn't really news at all, the guys in Underworld may now wish to deny all involvement with their poppy albums from the '80s, but I still love 'em.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

too much Taiwanese spam

*giggle*

(pengy eats his fried. ohhh, you mean THAT spam...)

;)

and eww, icky dream :(

*huggles*!!!

(just think easter candy easter candy easter candy!!! :) :) )

EASTER CANDY!

Sorry, but EW!!

Also, I think Underworld were underrated.

No need to apologize--EW! was pretty much my reaction on waking. In the dream, I was trying to be polite to my hosts and took a few more bites after realizing what (whom) I was eating, which somehow makes the memory of the dream much worse.

This morning my last dream involved being chased by vampires. Why is it that having people trying to suck my blood is so much less disturbing than having someone's grandmother as the main course? Odd the way my mind works.

And I love Underworld's old stuff even if they don't. I'm a rebel! (or something)

they bring light in... :)

that's that monty python sketch, taking grandma to the undertaker's, innit? feeling peckish? the audience rushes the stage in outrage. eeep!

Have you ever heard Underworld's old songs from the '80s? The albums got seriously mixed reviews when they came out and the guys in the band would like you to believe that recording such music back then wasn't their choice. But I remember listening to a music program on the BBC once where "Stand Up" was the last song played, and the announcer following the show took a brief moment before giving the news headlines to say in a stereotypical BBC announcer voice, "I rather like that."

I dreamed a Monty Python sketch I've never seen? Huh. Maybe next week I'll dream of dead parrots or comfy chairs...

no, i haven't heard any of that. jeff says he's never seen Mark One for sale. i'm trying to find Stand Up with WinMX right now... looks like i won't luck out. i'll check that used cd store in c.p. sometime soon!

...or maybe you'll dream you're a lumberjack. :D

Hey, if you don't get to hear any of the old old Underworld through other means, I do have CDs you could hear sometime. If you're interested, that is. :-)

oh, sure! if you feel up to it next week, maybe i'll come over some late-morning and see ya? (too late in the day, it gets too hot for me.)

Actually it does have a point. Two, even.

I'm not widely known as the Dandelion of just the right words, so how about a metaphor?

It's a tunnel, not a hole. Keep trudging. And someday, somewhere on the other side, you'll look over your shoulder and spot someone and tell them, "It's a tunnel, not a hole. Keep trudging. And someday, somewhere on the other side, you'll look over your shoulder and spot someone and tell them, 'It's a tunnel, not a hole. Keep trudging. And someday, somewhere on the other side, you'll look over your shoulder and spot someone and tell them...'"

At which point you'll probably realize that this person doesn't have the same capacity for logical loop-de-loops that you do, and you'll have to shut up before you end up giving them a headache.

I think I just scared the cat with the djembe. Oops. Cats not compatible with drums.

(here, have a 'that is not helpful, Zephyr' icon.)

I enjoy logical loop-de-loops. In fact, I think I'd prefer this if it weren't a boring dark tunnel, but a roller-coaster. At least on a roller coaster you get the sense you're going somewhere.

So, how can you work Trixie and a djembe into a good metaphor? :-)

Hmm. Let's see.

It makes a big noise. What could it be, making that big noise? In a cat's limited imagination, it must be a predator; a monster. It's going to come after her and eat her alive and she won't have a chance against anything that big and noisy.

But it's just a drum, physically incapable of coming after her. However, I can't tell her this. I can show her the drum and she won't believe that that's all there is. There has to be a monster, too. That big noise is a monster noise.

Sometimes the things we fear don't really exist, or if they do, they're not the least bit dangerous. But we can't be convinced. We know there's something to fear. Our faith that it's there is stronger than our willingness to listen to the evidence that it's just a drum.

C - I have been out of touch and not aware of anyone else's pain but my own. Here you are over at my journal taking time to comfort me and give me hugs and I've got my eyes closed.

You can say it until you are blue in the face but dammit, you matter to me. Say, for instance, you gave up and did kill yourself. Just for the sake of argument. I would be absolutely pissed at myself and full of sorrow and anger and grief beyond what I am feeling at the moment. Because I would feel like I let you down- YOU, someone I love. And yes, I know we've never met. I know you are across the continent and maybe we never will, but I love you all the same and that's not a fake emotion, it is real. To say you are insignificant belittles how I feel about you, although I know you don't mean it like that at all. But what it does mean is I'm doing a lousy job of letting you know how much you matter to me. So, I'll try to do better.

Do you know that if I won the lottery, I'd send you lots of money? I would. Because I know how scary it is not to have enough. I don't think I know it as well as you do maybe, and I'd be terrified to get to the that point, but I've been without baby formula and diapers when it was still a week til payday and I've not had money for the rent. I know how overwhelmed I felt. I wish I could fix it all for you. I wish you could understand how important you are.

Love you.
Lisa

Though I didn't comment on this before, I'm always glad to hear from you, Lisa. Thanks for caring about me too. :-)

been having weird dreams myself :-/

Bleah.

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