Your Pre- (or Post-) Holiday HAL-o-scopes!

Yes! Once again, the amazingly psychic MegaHAL has agreed to bless you all with the benefits of his wisdom! Here on this happy Christmas Adam, each of the twelve commonly-acknowledged astrological signs has a special horoscope, full of nonsense insight which you should somehow find a way to apply to your own life. MegaHAL horoscopes--more poetic than the newspaper, better than inkblots! Enjoy yours today!

( Aries )

( Taurus )

( Gemini )

( Cancer )

( Leo )

( Virgo )

( Libra )

( Scorpio )

( Sagittarius )

( Capricorn )

( Aquarius )

( Pisces )