(no subject)

For the past couple of weeks I've been operating in a state of quasi-denial. I know what needs to be done, or at least I know what I need to begin to find help with even if I don't know what kind of help I might need. There's no denying that I need to do things, then. But while I've got that knowledge in one part of my mind, I've been acting like it didn't really apply to me. I've been calm largely because I haven't let myself think. It's a good thing I've got a lawyer for the Social Security, because that would surely be one of the things I'd avoid dealing with otherwise.

A few things have gotten screwed up. This semi-denial hasn't exactly been a great idea in some ways. But I've been trying to deal with these things alone for a long time, and my ability to cope simply vanished. Disintegrated. If I let myself think about the things I'm supposed to be dealing with, unhealthy as I am, I've felt rage boiling up inside. Some pop-psychology types tell you that anger is really fear in disguise, or tell you that fear is really anger in disguise, and that if you're really happy you must be very sad, and no emotion is at all what it seems. Well, I can tell you that my anger is anger--and fear. Which came first I don't know, but I needed to take a break to get the chickens to stop laying more eggs.

So I haven't called up or walked into bureaucracies, haven't been reading or otherwise paying much attention to the news (except for the weather), have been listening to music in languages I don't understand, have been functioning at a superficial level. It hasn't been brilliant strategy, but in the complete absence of help from anyone else, it's been necessary for me to take a little vacation.

A few things have gotten screwed up, though not, I believe, irreparably. This weekend I finally wrote a list of things to do tomorrow which should help begin to get things moving again. I'm thinking again. Not thinking too deeply yet, but thinking. Here's hoping I can find some way to get back to my life again.

On another note (or two)

Hurricane Katrina and the Gotham City earthquake have demonstrated how quickly civil government can break down in a disaster. Rather than leave our lives in the hands of a handful of a few fickle costumed vigilantes, I have proposed the creation of the Levitz Armed Mandroid Exigency Situation Team. In the event of a disaster, these Mandroids will be activated and used pre-emptively to provide security and order in this fair city. Again, this is not a Pork project, but rather a means of keeping a responsible individual in control during a possible disaster…namely me.

There have been questions about the Metropolis highway funding as well. A city the size of Metropolis attracts a large number of costumed indiviuduals, both so-called “super-heroes” and “super-villains.” The unlawful activities of these costumed rough-necks routinely have a detrimental effect upon our city’s infrastructure. We desperately need these Federal highway funds to repair the streets of Metropolis. The fact that these street repairs are carried out by a subsidiary of LexCorp is purely coincidental.

Unrelated to pork barrel spending in Metropolis: I went to the store today with the express purpose of buying some good, decadent chocolatey stuff--imported candies, fresh-baked brownies, fudgy ice cream, something like that--and came home with--


wait for it--


a big chunk of cut watermelon.


I'm really losing my touch.