Misbegotten

First of all: It's snowing! And I can't see it because the storm windows are fogged up. Phooey.

Second: I was thinking about my book collection again. You see, I inherited all of my parents' books; my parents inherited my father's parents' books; and my father's parents inherited books from book collectors who happened to live on the same street. Add in the fact that everyone in this chain bought books of their own, and you'll understand that there are a lot of books involved here.

Exactly how many books there are is something no-one can be sure of. When I first moved into a rented room, it was obvious that all my books had to go elsewhere, so they are now stored in many boxes in another part of the state. (If they were close by, then I would sell many of them on eBay, as there's certainly something of value in there that I don't really want to read. But I digress.) The part that frightens me is that, though my brother is close enough to them to know how many boxes of books there are, the number of boxes has increased dramatically through the years. The only possible explanations are (1) my brother exaggerates the number a bit more with each telling, or (2) the books are breeding. Since my brother would tell you that he never exaggerates, well, the resulting collection must have gotten interesting.

Many of the books are either self-help books or science books. As some of you already know, I can't wait to read my fresh young copy of How to Win Friends and Influence the Origin of Species!

Was idly wondering how well Dune would get along with The Book of Mormon. Then thoughts of a eugenics book from the 1920s intruded. Eep. But suddenly I thought of a more disturbing scenario--Dune gets together with one of the many Amway books. The Kwisatz Haderach would like to tell you about a business opportunity...

The two authors I've bought the most books by are C.J. Cherryh and C.S. Lewis. Was wondering how well their books would get along, but realized that Till We Have Faces and Rusalka would have much to talk about.

How well would Invisible Man by H.G. Wells and Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison get along? Speaking of Ellisons, Ralph and Harlan would make an interesting combination.

Oh, Douglas Adams and Laura Ingalls Wilder--Little House at the End of the Universe.

I'm trying to think of who the old copy of The Handbook of Chemistry and Physics would socialize with. Any suggestions? I have the feeling that it would be mocking the 1909 Science-History of the Universe while A Brief History of Time was snickering in the corner.

Though Dad was a lifelong Republican, his girlfriend talked about Al Gore's book a lot and I suspect there's a copy of it around somewhere, but who would hang out with it?

Plato's Republic and Orwell's Animal Farm--catfight!

The Screwtape Letters and The Devil's Dictionary might get along less well than you'd think.

Which is the more likely result from a meeting of Austen and Dostoevsky: Crime and Prejudice or Pride and Punishment?

So many bad jokes can be made about the Melville. I will not say anything about crosses with inspirational books, so you won't be hearing about The Power of Positive Dick.

There are L. Ron Hubbard books. I hope they don't breed with anybody.

The Odyssey would be interesting crossed with pretty much any SF book, really. And you know Odysseus would get along well with Huckleberry Finn, though cultural differences could confuse things.

The Lion, The Witch, and The Last of the Mohicans?

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Chips.

Do Androids Dream of the Federalist Papers?

The Joy of Sex in Wonderland. No comment.