Your new diet.

"Scientists in this week's Christmas issue of the BMJ have discovered the 'Polymeal', a set of ingredients which cuts the risk of heart (cardiovascular) disease by 76% and significantly increases life expectancy." (Link to Scienceblog, which has incredibly annoying pop-ups. Mine apologies.)

Results of dining on the Polymeal were most dramatic for men, who were projected to live on average 6.6 years longer in total than those not eating the meal. Men will also live for nine years longer without succumbing to heart disease, and those that do will suffer it for less years of their lives.

Women eating the Polymeal will also live significantly longer, nearly five years more than women not eating the meal. They will also put off the onset of heart disease for eight years longer.

So what are these magic ingredients? What's this latest meal we're all now supposed to eat? "[W]ine, fish, dark chocolate, fruits and vegetables, almonds and garlic, eaten on a daily basis (but four times a week for fish)."

Yes, all you cynics and skeptics out there: The experts really are advising us to eat dark chocolate for our health. Doesn't that sound better than your low-carb oatmeal?