(no subject)

You know your hummingwolf is sick when, not having gone for a walk since Saturday, she still does not want to leave the house on Wednesday. Feeling less feverish than yesterday, though, and chances are that I will leave the house today anyway. Or maybe tomorrow. Definitely have to do something elsewhere this week.

~~~~~

Everyone wonders at some time or another how their life would be changed if they'd made different choices. With my life the state it's in, I've certainly wondered that a lot.

About half an hour ago, I had a sudden vision of myself having taken a path I seriously considered taking a while back. In this other world where I'd done things differently, I was much happier than I am here. But I had cut off the possibility of a greater happiness and felt myself locked into a lesser life than I could have had otherwise. I was happy, but there was a gnawing hunger that could not be satisfied.

It's strange. Miserable as I may have been lately, the chance of a greater happiness I'm not sure I believe in is still more important to me than what I'd have gotten if I'd done that one thing differently.