hummingwolf (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hummingwolf) wrote2003-03-05 11:25 am
hummingwolf) wrote2003-03-05 11:25 am
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anoisblue survey
What sort of house do you live in?
A big Cape Cod-style home built over 70 years ago, modified somewhat over its lifetime. Could use some minor repairs and a fresh coat of paint, but a pretty nice place overall.
What would be your ideal residence?
A treehouse! Not joking, though there are few trees around here which would support a place with indoor plumbing and space enough for my book collection.
What sort of body do you live in?
One almost exactly average height for an American woman, below average weight. Longish brown and (prematurely!) grey hair; green eyes which sometimes like to turn blue and are very nearsighted & astigmatic; long, skinny, flat feet; strong legs; some minor structural flaws; chronically pained and fatigued and on the verge of passing out.
What would be your ideal body?
One without the chronic pain, fatigue, and syncope. Also would have much better skin, 20/20 vision, stronger arms, a smaller belly, and fewer grey hairs.
What do you do with your spare moments now?
Read books, read LJ, listen to CDs and Launchcast, contemplate playing with POV-Ray, chat online, lie in bed whimpering. I have too many spare moments.
What would you like to be doing in your spare time?
Walk more, hang out more with old friends and make new ones. I'd love to get my eye-hand coordination back so I could draw & do calligraphy again. I was never great at drawing (not bad either), but did become pretty good at calligraphy before having to quit.
How do you earn a living now?
I don't, unfortunately.
What would be your ideal job?
Possibly writing, if I could think up something to write about. Playing with computer graphics would be a great job too.
Who do you live with now?
A handful of 20- and 30-something college students and a legion of dustbunnies.
With whom would you like to live?
I like these people, but I think I may have been made to live alone. Either that, or I should be living with someone who pampers me lavishly. Neither arrangement is likely to be a part of my life anytime soon.
Where do you live geographically?
In the suburbs of the world's most self-important city, Washington, DC.
Where would you like to live?
I would love to be able to travel all around, trying out different places and different lifestyles. But aside from the hot & humid summers and the fact that this has been Ground Zero since well before I was born, I rather like it here. It's the Land of the Free Museums.
What things would you change about your current circumstances?
My health. If I had energy, much of the rest of my life could be changed. Money would be helpful as well.
What things would you like to learn?
Oh, absolutely everything!
What are your superpowers that draw other people to you?
Maybe my listening skills, though some people are frightened by how much I remember.
What do you think people say about you when you're not around?
Depends entirely on the people talking. Some think I'm a whiner, some think I'm a bitch. But I seem to have acquired a reputation for niceness recently, which is strange since I used to be thought of as sarcastic and cynical.
What do you think people will say about you at your funeral?
If I got run over by a bus today, the main theme would be how much crap I had to endure and how much I couldn't do. This depresses me more than I can say. I really don't want my limitations to be the last word on my life.
A big Cape Cod-style home built over 70 years ago, modified somewhat over its lifetime. Could use some minor repairs and a fresh coat of paint, but a pretty nice place overall.
What would be your ideal residence?
A treehouse! Not joking, though there are few trees around here which would support a place with indoor plumbing and space enough for my book collection.
What sort of body do you live in?
One almost exactly average height for an American woman, below average weight. Longish brown and (prematurely!) grey hair; green eyes which sometimes like to turn blue and are very nearsighted & astigmatic; long, skinny, flat feet; strong legs; some minor structural flaws; chronically pained and fatigued and on the verge of passing out.
What would be your ideal body?
One without the chronic pain, fatigue, and syncope. Also would have much better skin, 20/20 vision, stronger arms, a smaller belly, and fewer grey hairs.
What do you do with your spare moments now?
Read books, read LJ, listen to CDs and Launchcast, contemplate playing with POV-Ray, chat online, lie in bed whimpering. I have too many spare moments.
What would you like to be doing in your spare time?
Walk more, hang out more with old friends and make new ones. I'd love to get my eye-hand coordination back so I could draw & do calligraphy again. I was never great at drawing (not bad either), but did become pretty good at calligraphy before having to quit.
How do you earn a living now?
I don't, unfortunately.
What would be your ideal job?
Possibly writing, if I could think up something to write about. Playing with computer graphics would be a great job too.
Who do you live with now?
A handful of 20- and 30-something college students and a legion of dustbunnies.
With whom would you like to live?
I like these people, but I think I may have been made to live alone. Either that, or I should be living with someone who pampers me lavishly. Neither arrangement is likely to be a part of my life anytime soon.
Where do you live geographically?
In the suburbs of the world's most self-important city, Washington, DC.
Where would you like to live?
I would love to be able to travel all around, trying out different places and different lifestyles. But aside from the hot & humid summers and the fact that this has been Ground Zero since well before I was born, I rather like it here. It's the Land of the Free Museums.
What things would you change about your current circumstances?
My health. If I had energy, much of the rest of my life could be changed. Money would be helpful as well.
What things would you like to learn?
Oh, absolutely everything!
What are your superpowers that draw other people to you?
Maybe my listening skills, though some people are frightened by how much I remember.
What do you think people say about you when you're not around?
Depends entirely on the people talking. Some think I'm a whiner, some think I'm a bitch. But I seem to have acquired a reputation for niceness recently, which is strange since I used to be thought of as sarcastic and cynical.
What do you think people will say about you at your funeral?
If I got run over by a bus today, the main theme would be how much crap I had to endure and how much I couldn't do. This depresses me more than I can say. I really don't want my limitations to be the last word on my life.
no subject
I've also experienced mass shifts in people's opinions of me. I tend to have pretty much the same reaction... but I think it's just a side effect of getting older... and being able to seek out different (occasionally better) types of people as I get older.
So your superpower is super listening, huh? Oh geez. If you set your mind to it, you could become a continuity tyrant for Minions/Saga. But until you actually do, I'll refrain from shuddering in fear. :)
no subject
The mass shifts in opinions about me are at least partly due to the fact that I am less of a sarcastic, cynical bitch than I used to be. I'm not at all sure how that happened.
Not sure if listening is really my superpower, but I had to pick something. :-)
no subject
They just said that I did send you something, and the gift is in there, although you have to search around for it a little bit (it's taped inside). It's not a fortune but I did leave the "to:" part blank so you can put it where you need to. I dated it, though. I dunno, I think the idea of writing March 5 appealed to me at the time.
no subject
no subject
i know your life is more overtly defined by limitations more than most people, but you still exert a tremendous amount of choice within your physical constraints... and i think you travel more in mind and spirit than most people lacking your physical constraints... does this remove the fact that you can't travel to timbuctu and do the limbo in the tiki bar? no. but give yourself credit for responding to your illness with determination and creativity to live your life fully and appreciatively. you are a brighter and livelier (sp?) spirit than many people i encounter. yes, those many people i encounter walk around relatively pain free. but they also walk around blindly. would you rather be pain free, and never comprehend the beauty and joy of the sounds of rain on your window, and other such moments you write about so eloquently, which most of us pass without noticing in our blind lives?? of course, having now chosen awareness in response to your pain, i certainly would love to see your pain freed, so you could be pain-free AND aware!! but, in the meantime, try to see yourself as your many good friends do. we don't pity you. we don't consider you less of a person. in fact, i consider you a friend who's passion for living inspires me. and i can tell you anything and not worry about being judged. that is rare to find in a friend, and i value it highly.
if i had to write a eulogy for you, i would say things about how much passion, intelligence, compassion, wit, and wisdom you have and share unconditionally. about how inspiring and comforting and encouraging you can be as a friend. about how you have believe in the good things in life: tea and chocolate!! ;)
there's more i'm forgetting i'm sure, but i'm gettting post-dinner sleepy ;)
honey, we don't define you by your illness. your personality and awareness may have changed as a result of learning to live with your illness (or DESPITE your illness??), but you CHOOSE to be who you are, and who you are is wonderful and shining, and in no way skewed by the pain which imprisons your body.
and ooh, yea, treehouse! coool!!
i think you'd be a fantastic writer!!! why don't you try doing some freelance pieces?? you could do computer graphics freelance too!
oki, byeee for nowwww, hummingtotem!! ;)
*huggles*
pixinator ;)
no subject
Thanks for your encouraging words. ::hugs::
no subject
well, if these people are true friends, i imagine they are saying such things out of frustration of having to see you so limited... i think if you told them how such comments add to your own frustration, they wouldn't continue to voice such things... and if you asked them to help transform their helpless frustration into encouragement by helping you to find solutions to living your life fully NOW within your current constraints, they would be glad to put their love and creativity into such nurturing and empowering efforts...
i don't mean to dismiss your frustration. i know what it's like to be so tired inside of struggling and feel beaten down every day. but me being forever the optimist, i am always compelled to point out how much your brilliance shines, even when you're too weary to see it *hugs* *smiles*
one moment at a time dear totem :)