hummingwolf: squiggly symbol floating over rippling water (Default)
hummingwolf ([personal profile] hummingwolf) wrote2003-02-15 07:59 am
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My Most Memorable Valentine's Days

This first account is one I sent to my favorite mailing list a couple of years ago:

1994. It was a generally rotten day to begin with--migraine coupled with exhaustion--mitigated only by my observing some amusing V-Day encounters while I was hanging around campus (people reciting lovely poetry to each other, such as "Roses are red/Violets are black/You'd look much better/with a knife in your back"), and, with my father out celebrating with his girlfriend, I was really quite relieved to get home where I could relax and listen to music in solitude.

Somewhere around 9 p.m., my closest friend called up from campus (we'd both dropped out of school by then, but still hung around the place) and started telling me about her day. Then she began giving me addresses and phone numbers and telling me what she wanted me to tell everyone she knew after she had killed herself.

So, I spent the last 3 hours of Feb. 14 trying to talk her out of suicide. It was a wide-ranging conversation, really, involving art and literature, philosophy and religion, adoption and foster care, and quite a few other things I've forgotten. Some of it would've been hysterically funny if it had been in a work of fiction--even she managed to laugh at a lot of it, in spite of everything. After she hung up on me, I called the campus police and talked to them for a while, glad that I'd heard enough of the background noise to know which bank of phone booths she'd called me from. They managed to get to her in time, got her admitted to the local hospital, where she remained for a while. Soon after she got out, she decided to stop speaking to me, reasoning that my dialing 911--when I knew how she hated the police, social workers, doctors, and everyone else who makes their living "interfering in other people's lives"--was an act of betrayal.

The last I heard about her life was around Christmas that year, when a local newspaper included an article about her in one of those series about local people who need your help, here's the address where you can send money. Though I did receive phone calls from the hospital for a while after, people trying to locate her to get payment for their services and calling me because I was listed as next-of-kin.

One thing that's stuck with me about my conversation with the campus police Feb. 15 was the impression they gave that suicide threats and attempts weren't exactly rare on Valentine's Day.


Second most memorable Valentine's Day: One of my brothers got married. During a blizzard. That was fun--though not, I suppose, for the guests who tried driving long-distance that day.


Third most memorable Valentine's Day: This was a few weeks after I'd moved to the house where I'm living now. One of the housemates made breakfast for all of the women in the house, which is the first and only time anyone has ever given me anything (other than friendly greeting cards) for Valentine's Day. Later, most of the single housemates went into DC to see a movie. The movie was Sphere, but we enjoyed ourselves anyway.

[identity profile] daisydumont.livejournal.com 2003-02-15 05:37 am (UTC)(link)
how do you feel about your intervention? are you glad you did it, or did her reaction afterward make you, even for a moment, wish you'd let her carry out her plan?

how about this snow today, huh? i woke up to a winter wonderland!
ext_3407: squiggly symbol floating over water (Default)

[identity profile] hummingwolf.livejournal.com 2003-02-15 05:59 am (UTC)(link)
I never wished I hadn't done it--always rather suspected that if she'd really wanted to kill herself, she'd have (A) called from a less easily guessable location and (B) called somebody who wasn't me. Mostly, I just wished she'd choose to live. Both the last time I saw her and in the last photograph I saw of her, she looked like a walking dead person. Body still working (within limits--she had some disabilities of her own), but the eyes were lifeless.

Beautiful snow today! Have you heard the forecasted totals? 3-5 inches for today... possibly 14 inches tomorrow! Good thing I went grocery shopping yesterday, even if it was a Friday before a 3-day weekend, a Hallmark holiday, and the day before a snowstorm. The Safeway shoppers were insane. Fortunately, I snagged the last loaf of dark rye bread.

[identity profile] daisydumont.livejournal.com 2003-02-15 07:15 am (UTC)(link)
oh, i am so relieved that you went to safeway! i worried because i had hoped to get over to take you there to stock up, and then the week went pflooey for me. gerry told me a few minutes ago that the outlook keeps getting worse, and that we may not be able to get out on monday at all. i warned the guys we may end up having that weird kind of meal where you open cans, pot-luck style. wow. giant yesterday was a madhouse. luckily, jeff came along to tote the heavy stuff and save my back.

still, i wish i could've driven you so you wouldn't have had to tote stuff!
ext_3407: squiggly symbol floating over water (Default)

[identity profile] hummingwolf.livejournal.com 2003-02-15 08:50 am (UTC)(link)
Originally was planning to wait till today to go to the store. Then I thought about the fact that it was Friday before a three-day weekend with snow predicted, and realized I'd better get down there and buy some food before it was all gone. So today I can stay indoors sipping my hot cocoa and relaxing.

Snow's all stopped here, with some of what landed melted away already. WTOP says there should be a couple more bursts of snow this afternoon, so I'll wait a few hours before expressing severe disappointment...

[identity profile] daisydumont.livejournal.com 2003-02-15 10:08 am (UTC)(link)
well, tomorrow's the day to watch out for, gerry keeps saying. we'll see! maybe something entirely other will happen. mother nature could surprise us with something nice.

nahhhh.... ;)

[identity profile] chastmastr.livejournal.com 2003-04-02 01:00 pm (UTC)(link)
You saved someone's life. Very very cool. You're a hero, in my opinion. *HUG*

David
ext_3407: Dandelion's drawing of a hummingwolf (Hummingwolf by Dandelion)

[identity profile] hummingwolf.livejournal.com 2003-04-03 04:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you, but I tend to think of a hero as someone who's risked something. I didn't risk a thing by calling the police that night. Sure, the "betrayal" helped to end a friendship, but that would've ended if she'd died too.

[identity profile] chastmastr.livejournal.com 2003-04-02 01:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, and yes, that icon is of a bearded male Powerpuff Girl, or Boy in this case. :)
ext_3407: Dandelion's drawing of a hummingwolf (Hummingwolf by Dandelion)

[identity profile] hummingwolf.livejournal.com 2003-04-03 04:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Heh. Very cute. Oh, I'm glad you like this hummingwolf icon--it was drawn by the talented [livejournal.com profile] hai_kah_uhk.

If I may ask, how did you end up finding & commenting on this old post of mine? Just curious.

[identity profile] chastmastr.livejournal.com 2003-04-05 01:56 pm (UTC)(link)
I think I saw your name in the "Charles Williams" interest list when I joined the C.S. Lewis one the other day, and since there are so few of us (and "Hummingwolf" sounded like such a cute name -- I love wolves, and the notion of such a tiny, winged one intrigued me), I was curious, so I checked your old postings out of curiosity, and saw it. I also read very fast...

[identity profile] chastmastr.livejournal.com 2003-04-02 01:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Look, here's another! :)