Still alive.

[hummingwolf]

Have been alternating between moments when I can't think enough to string together two words, much less get myself to LJ in order to type them out with some semblance of coherence; and moments like this one, where I (perhaps delusionally) think I make a little bit of sense.

Anyway, I'm here. Been busy trying to apply for government benefits and thoroughly exhausting myself, filling out forms and getting other people to fill out forms and jumping through hoops and spraining my ankle when I land (metaphorical ankle--my literal ankles haven't been sprained in the last few months, though my literal feet have huge blisters from literal shoes nobody should have to walk a mile in).

At a doctor's appointment on Monday (appointment made so the doctor could fill out forms), it was discovered that I am: still of average height, still of below-average weight, and still have blood pressure that's waaaay too low. But the doctor said I am alive, which is why I felt confident enough to say so in the subject of this post.

Also this week: Went into DC on Thursday to talk to one of the people who help disabled people look for jobs. As with the doctor's visit on Monday, the Thursday thing left me wiped out. It's evident by now that before I try to get a job, I need to get enough money to pay for medication, food supplements, and decent food, 'cos I'm really not getting much done in my current unmedicated, bedraggled state. Drat. I'd been hoping I could go without supplements & drugs for a while and still get work, but it's not happening. Double drat.

The weather today is lovely, if you love rain. Since there's no place I need to go today, I'm content with the beauties of the day--grey sky contrasting with orange and yellow leaves being washed onto the ground forming thick carpets for marauding squirrels to scamper across as I watch from my wobbly chair drinking warm tea. Almost as relaxing as a long nap.

Comments

[hai-kah-uhk.livejournal.com]

I was just thinking about you and wondering how you were doing. Glad to hear you're still alive.

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you're glad. :-)

Don't think I mentioned this before, but I love the cat!

[hai-kah-uhk.livejournal.com]

Thanks! :)

I wish you luck... if I can drag my lazy butt all the way to my neighbor's garden, I'll do a few turns on the mandala for you. Intention magic, y'know... the power of good intention. :)

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[skygypsy.livejournal.com]

sounds like you're making excellent progress!!! wooo!!!

it's raining here too. i just had a big ol nap. good for me. bad for packing. ;)

hang in there!

*hugs* :)

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

Progress? In what way? I can't afford the supplements and medications that have kept me from being a vegetable the last few years and have no hope of getting a job until I *do* take those supplements and medications, so I'm seeing more of a downward spiral at the moment.

(Sorry, optimism has been suspended for the duration of the current migraine. Please try again later. Offerings of MSM supplements and/or Ritalin would be appreciated... chocolate ain't gonna do it this time.)

[skygypsy.livejournal.com]

progress = going to the benefits office, filling out all those forms, and talking to that guy about a job!!!

you been working for WEEKS towards getting that stuff accomplished!!! yayy! that's fantastic!!!

sok, we can be optimistic for you! :)

*hugs*
-vic :)

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

Well, I've been to the benefits office and filled out stacks of forms before, so I can't bring myself to consider that progress unless and until I get something out of it. In the meantime, it's just something painful and exhausting.

As for talking to the guy about jobs... mostly we've figured that there's no possible way I can get one until I get money from elsewhere and can get medication & supplements (as well as clothes & food & transportation costs). So, no, really not feeling terribly progressive at all.

Glad you can be optimistic for me, though. :-)

[skygypsy.livejournal.com]

*PBBBFFFFT*!

:P

[daisydumont.livejournal.com]

rain, and rain, and rain. but better than burning-dry, i guess.

it's good to see your post! glad you were sitting there content. :)

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

Yes, I was feeling mellow yesterday. (Too bad the contentment didn't last.) How are you doing? Infection going away, I hope?

[daisydumont.livejournal.com]

i'm sorry the contentment vanished. hope it returns! my infection lingers, unfortunately, and i noticed this morning the oddest patch of nasty red bumps on my back. i'm waiting for the doc-on-call to get back to me. sigh. you know, i live in fear of brown recluse spiders (tho' they're not supposed to be in this state), and i've been picking fleas off the cat manually, so i figure it's bubonic plague. have i mentioned i'm neurotically phobic? but i'll live. ;)