hummingwolf | (no subject)

Woke up this morning sometime around 4 or a bit later and began to panic (not for the first, or, I'm sure, the last time) about my financial situation. If I don't get some money in the next 3 days, I'll reach the third month straight of not paying my rent. Landlord's understanding, but even the most understanding person would be thinking of ways to get rid of me by now.

Oh joy, isn't it fun to be jobless and poor?

Anyway, I never like panicking for long, so I distracted myself by reading a bit of Tom Lutz's book Crying: The Natural & Cultural History of Tears. Haven't gotten very far, but have so far read a little about the physical pleasures of tears, the relief, the satiety of a good cry.

Hmph. All my life I've been a crier, and all my life I've never been allowed that kind of pleasure being spoken of. Like most folks who can't keep their faces dry on demand, I've been accused of being manipulative or told that big girls don't cry. (The obvious exception here being when my mother died and a friend of hers told a friend of mine that I wasn't crying enough at the funeral--"People will think she didn't love her mother." Yeah, the fact that I was half disbelieving that Mom was dead and half relieved that she was out of her pain didn't matter, I was still supposed to be able to control my tears on demand for the public's sake.) So I'm only allowed to feel guilty for my tears, or at the very best feel like a pathetic useless slob for not being able to stop them.

Y'know, I feel terribly cheated.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

oh yeah. i used to get called "crybaby" a lot. like i could help it!

Then there's the old standby, "If you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry about!" Yep, that always helps.

I'm a crier too. I cried 3 times over the weekend (not coincidentally, during hurtful, sharp rows with my husband). I just started crying a few moments ago, reading about the heartbreaking romantic drama on my friends' page (not my own heart breaking; that's a different drama). I used to try not to cry at the movies, but then I'd just end up with an upset tummy, so now I just let it pour out, and it is always such a relief.

I tried not crying for a few years and got very depressed :(

Also, being accused of being crying manipulatively is a terrible, terrible thing.

I never used to cry at movies--it was only books that made me cry. But these days for some reason I'll cry at nearly anything, even commercials for floor wax if they're particularly well done. (Not outright sobbing at those ads, though--I do have some decorum left.)

Only times I've ever managed not crying were times I was dehydrated, which can also be very depressing.

Some people there are who do try to manipulate people with crying, but when crying is clearly disadvantageous you'd think people would recognize you're not doing it on purpose. I dunno, maybe people figure that if they acknowledge you're really feeling something they might have to care, or at least admit that they don't care...

I too am a member of the club.It doesn't go over well at my gender and my age.What can you do?

What can you do? I wish I knew. It's awfully inconvenient.