hummingwolf | (no subject)

I keep getting spam offering me free teens. Why on earth would anyone want a teenager? They're so annoying at that age, don't you think? I get mental images of these websites being run by irritated parents trying to get rid of their kids for a few years. Then I see in my mind's eye big cardboard boxes of teens set out on the front porch like a litter of kittens with signs hung round their necks saying "Free to a Good Home" while the parents hover nearby explaining that they'd like to keep the teens themselves--they're so cute, aren't they?--but of course they can't afford so many, what with the cost of all the snack foods required. But one--just one--that won't be such a problem, will it? And it's free, and isn't it cute the way it primps and preens and worries so much and thinks its little problems are the worst things that could ever happen in the whole history of the world? Please, just take one...

(Yes, I know that's not what the spammers are really offering. I like my version better.)