hummingwolf (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hummingwolf) wrote2007-10-30 02:54 pm
hummingwolf) wrote2007-10-30 02:54 pm
(no subject)
I keep meaning to update more often here but then, for various reasons, I don't.
Summary of yesterday: October's Bright Blue Weather. Beautiful walk (if rather rushed). Looong bus ride. Short doctor appointment. Long bus ride home. Pain.
There. Wasn't that exciting? I thought so. It's been hard for me to think clearly enough to write more about what's going through my head, which frightens me more than I like to admit. For the last couple of years I hadn't talked about it much, but language has been becoming more and more difficult for me to use. I thought at first it was just sleep deprivation. Now, of course, I can blame it on the seizure disorder, since the brain's left temporal lobe (where my most abnormal electrical activity is) is where many language functions live, so I was hoping that taking the anti-epileptic drug would solve all my problems and I wouldn't have to worry anymore. The starter dose did help quite a lot with everything in general, which made optimism seem reasonable. The higher dose hasn't helped me more, though--if anything, I've been feeling worse, more tired, less able to come up with the right words on demand, more likely to erupt with the wrong ones, and more likely to get long-lasting migraines. Since blood tests indicate that my drug levels are comfortably situated in the normal therapeutic range, my doctor wants more blood tests to make sure my internal organs aren't self-destructing. Oh joy.
Maybe I'm just tired. Maybe I'm still not entirely over that last infection I had. Maybe I'm just unreasonable, hoping for too much improvement too quickly. Oh, but I am tired of this.
The weather truly is beautiful, though. If it weren't for the nasty blisters on my feet (one of those things I meant to write about last week), I would be taking a long, long walk right now.
Summary of yesterday: October's Bright Blue Weather. Beautiful walk (if rather rushed). Looong bus ride. Short doctor appointment. Long bus ride home. Pain.
There. Wasn't that exciting? I thought so. It's been hard for me to think clearly enough to write more about what's going through my head, which frightens me more than I like to admit. For the last couple of years I hadn't talked about it much, but language has been becoming more and more difficult for me to use. I thought at first it was just sleep deprivation. Now, of course, I can blame it on the seizure disorder, since the brain's left temporal lobe (where my most abnormal electrical activity is) is where many language functions live, so I was hoping that taking the anti-epileptic drug would solve all my problems and I wouldn't have to worry anymore. The starter dose did help quite a lot with everything in general, which made optimism seem reasonable. The higher dose hasn't helped me more, though--if anything, I've been feeling worse, more tired, less able to come up with the right words on demand, more likely to erupt with the wrong ones, and more likely to get long-lasting migraines. Since blood tests indicate that my drug levels are comfortably situated in the normal therapeutic range, my doctor wants more blood tests to make sure my internal organs aren't self-destructing. Oh joy.
Maybe I'm just tired. Maybe I'm still not entirely over that last infection I had. Maybe I'm just unreasonable, hoping for too much improvement too quickly. Oh, but I am tired of this.
The weather truly is beautiful, though. If it weren't for the nasty blisters on my feet (one of those things I meant to write about last week), I would be taking a long, long walk right now.
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Oh, but I am tired of this.
I know. It gets so old.
You are in thought and prayer.
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Then again, maybe my body's busy fighting off some other problem, and I would be feeling much better otherwise. Hard to say at this point.
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::hugs back::