Self-sabotage is like it, yes. Lots of people are uncomfortable with being *very* happy, so they tend to do things which will bring them back down to their customary level of mediocrity/misery/okay-but-not-greatness/whatever. Self-sabotage usually isn't too damaging to your survival as a gene-carrier--might even promote survival sometimes, if you'd have a dangerously high level of certain hormones otherwise. I was thinking more about compelling urges to do something truly, magnificently self-destructive. I can avoid acting out on those urges usually, but why the heck won't they go away? I just don't geddit.