But the giant alien gerbils are my friends. They tell me what to do. They can't hurt you, you know. Although they can make you do terrible things to yourself.

Suicide is Painless

(Theme from M*A*S*H*)

Through early morning fog I see,
Visions of the things to be,
The pains that are withheld for me,
I realize and I can see...

[REFRAIN]:
That suicide is painless.
It brings on many changes.
And I can take or leave it if I please.

I try to find a way to make,
All our little joys relate,
Without that ever-present hate,
But now I know that it's too late, and...

[REFRAIN]

The game of life is hard to play,
I'm gonna lose it anyway.
The losing card I'll someday lay,
So this is all I have to say.

[REFRAIN]

The only way to win is cheat,
And lay it down before I'm beat,
And to another give my seat,
For that's the only painless feat.

[REFRAIN]

The sword of time will pierce our skins.
It doesn't hurt when it begins.
But as it works its way on in,
The pain grows stronger...watch it grin, but...

[REFRAIN]

A brave man once requested me,
to answer questions that are key.
Is it to be or not to be?
And I replied 'Oh why ask me?'

[REFRAIN]

'Cause suicide is painless.
It brings on many changes.
And I can take or leave it if I please.

...And you can do the same thing if you choose.