hummingwolf: Snowflake-like kaleidoscope images (Kaleidocoolth)
For the folks who think that the only ways to approach the Bible are a "conservative" approach with a strict fundamentalist literalism or a "liberal" conviction that it can't teach them anything at all, here's a bit few pages of self-consciously conservative non-fundamentalist C.S. Lewis.

Only for those interested )
hummingwolf: Drawing of a creature that is part-wolf, part-hummingbird. (Hummingwolf by Dandelion)
If you are in the habit of asking yourself "What Would Jesus Do?" then you should be aware that, based on the available evidence, "Setting forth a rational systematic theology in simple declarative sentences" is never the right answer.


(Why yes, I have been reading Bible commentaries again. Why do you ask?)
hummingwolf: squiggly symbol floating over rippling water (Kaleidoscope (purple & white))
The problem with fundamentalists isn't that they take the Bible literally. Many of them are quite well aware that the scripture is full of symbols and metaphors and complex ideas and oblique references to other bits of scripture as well as ideas floating around in the air at the time of writing. The problem is that instead of reading the poetry they find there, they listen to bad poetry teachers. They think they know better than you, not because they have breathed in, drunk, eaten, digested the poetry and made it a part of their being; but because they've memorized the Cliff's Notes and you haven't.

On the plus side...

Friday, July 9th, 2004 04:32 pm
hummingwolf: squiggly symbol floating over rippling water (one)
I'm still amused by the Bible "translation" which refers to the apostle Rocky and John the Dipper. It's easy enough to find an article or two decrying the evil evil choices made in the interpretation, but there's simply not been sufficient attention paid to the sheer entertainment value of it.

Though I know Peter's nickname could easily be interpreted as "Rocky," I still think he's more of a Bullwinkle type (yet [livejournal.com profile] unwilly made a good point when he said that Bullwinkle would be a good name for Mooses Moses).

"I can't wait to read about Moses receiving the the floppy discs or CDs with the ten commandments on them. Five on each disk. How about the destruction of the cell phone transmission tower at Babel?"

Mark 1:10-11

Authorized version: "And straightway coming up out of the water, he saw the heavens opened, and the Spirit like a dove descending upon him. And there came a voice from the heaven saying, Thou art my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased."

New: "As he was climbing up the bank again, the sun shone through a gap in the clouds. At the same time a pigeon flew down and perched on him. Jesus took this as a sign that God's spirit was with him. A voice from overhead was heard saying, 'That's my boy! You're doing fine!'"

Matthew 23:25

Authorized version: "Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!"

New version: "Take a running jump, Holy Joes, humbugs!"

Matthew 26:69-70

Authorized version: "Now Peter sat without in the palace: and a damsel came unto him, saying, 'Thou also wast with Jesus of Galilee.' But he denied before them all, saying, I know not what thou sayest."

New: "Meanwhile Rocky was still sitting in the courtyard. A woman came up to him and said: 'Haven't I seen you with Jesus, the hero from Galilee?" Rocky shook his head and said: 'I don't know what the hell you're talking about!'"

I'd find it all much less amusing if I could think of any reason to take it seriously.
hummingwolf: squiggly symbol floating over rippling water (8 months)
Heard a reference to this on the radio and immediately went to find some text versions online. This reminds me of the discussions with some college friends about the books of Third Corinthians and First and Second Heresies:

A candidate for church membership was asked, "What part of the Bible do you like best?"

He said: "I like the New Testament best."

Then he was asked, "What Book in the New Testament is your favorite?"

He answered, the Book of the Parables, Sir."

The committee then asked him to relate one of the parables to the membership committee. And he recited the following narrative from the Book of Parables":

"Once upon a time a man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves; and the thorns grew up and choked the man. And he went on and met the Queen of Sheba, and she gave that man, Sir, a thousand talents of silver, and a hundred changes of raiment. And he got in his chariot and drove furiously, and as he was driving along under a big tree, his hair got caught in a limb and left him hanging here! And he hung there many days and many nights. The ravens brought him food to eat and water to drink. And one night while he was hanging there asleep, his wife Delilah came along and cut off his hair, and he fell on stoney ground. And it began to rain, and rained forty days and forty nights. And he hid himself in a cave. Later he went on and met a man who said, 'Come in and take supper with me.' But he said, 'I can't come in, for I have married a wife.' And the man went out into the highways and hedges and compelled him to come in! He then came to Jerusalem, and saw Queen Jezebel sitting high and lifted up in a window of the wall. When she saw him she laughed, and he said, 'Throw her down out of there,' and they threw her down. And he said 'Throw her down again,' and they threw her down seventy times seven. And the fragments, which they picked up, filled twelve baskets full! Now, whose wife will she be in the day of the Judgment?"

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